A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have indeed broke up in the past, but now we are together and better than before.In the past my boyfriend broke up with me and that totally shattered me. And possibly my lack of trust for my boyfriend is because I have been hurt in the past and I'm scared of being vulnerable.I am also very insecure. Every girl my boyfriend thinks is 'pretty', or whoever he texts, I get quite frustrated and throw a hissy fit- I can get pretty out of control sometime, which I don't like at all. I always compare myself to those girls and check what she has that I don't. Amd that's everything. So I usually try to BE like them, but in the end fail, and hurt myself more.He HAS told me that I'm the most beautiful in the world, but for some reason I don't believe it.And because of these insecurities, I'm scared of being hurt. I'm scared of every girl my boyfriend talks to, because it makes me feel that he has an interest in them. I'm scared of letting him be on hia own sometimes because I'm scared he would unintentionally do something that would hurt me (no matter how small it is).I reay want to get rid of this fear, and build self-confidence. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, adamantine +, writes (7 August 2011):
 The best thing you can do for both you and him, is to learn to love yourself. There's no need to try and be like someone else, because then you're not being true to who you are. If you don't become comfortable in your own skin first, you're forever going to compare yourself to other girls and it's going to make you miserable.
Trust me, I know how it feels, but it's no good to stay in the place you are now. A man loves a woman who is confident in who she is.
Try and talk to your boyfriend about this. Explain to him how you're feeling. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to support you in anything you do, and if he's not, then maybe it's time to re-think whether you two should continue on.
Best of luck :)
A
female
reader, VelvetUnderground  +, writes (7 August 2011):
Every girl can feel like this, i know i have. but listen he thinks your "the most beautiful in the world" and you are to him. He can talk to any one, but the girl he want to be with, spend his life with is you. Think about that when if he's talk to a girl, you've won, he wants you !
You need to know that you will push him away and he wouldn't be able to stand it, if you keep up these inscurities.
Its natural to feel jealous but you just need to let these feels go,
Firstly, if i were you, i'd tell my BF about these feelings
And you feel ready, there a conciler that will help with self-esteam.
Just tall yourself your beautiful, cause you are!
Good luck !!!
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