A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So heres the stuation. Both my girlfriend and I live at home with our parents so we don't get to have sex often. Its not a big deal to me, but I do have a problem with when we have the chance we don't take advantage of it. Not because of me, but because of her. Its very frustrating to me and I try not to get angry about it but its very hard. She never wants to talk about sex ever, and when I try to bring it up she just gets angry. I'm hav ing a hard time dealing with this. Some times we don't have sex for months at a time and then when we do its not very good because she's too tight. Not saying I'm big or anything but I think if we had sex more often it would help that situation. I'm not asking for sex everyday, but maybe once a week or atleast once every two weeks would be nice. Am I asking too much?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Tell us about her pleasure in this. How does she reach orgasm? The reason I ask is because I think we have two possibilities here: one is that she doesn't like sex because of something that happened to her in the past--an assault, abuse, an upbringing that taught that sex was bad, something external that put her off having it.
The other possibility is that she doesn't like sex with you because it isn't good for her. She derives no pleasure from it and doesn't know how to tell you so she just refuses to discuss it. Did you know most women do not have orgasms from vaginal penetration alone? The source of most women's pleasure is in the clitoris.
Size has very little to do with a woman's pleasure. If she is tight, then there hasn't been enough foreplay. A sexually satisfied woman won't avoid having sex, as a rule. Have you ever made one of your lovemaking sessions all about her? With complete focus and devotion to her?
So your choices are either it's something in her past or it's the quality of your lovemaking. I suspect that the way you're talking about it isn't helping her discuss it at all. If she's getting angry with you, then there's definitely something wrong and you need to change tack.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): Maybe she really isn't ready to have sex and that may be why she is putting it off. If you make the issue about sex I guarantee you wont win. Obviously you need to talk to her, but if she doesn't want to talk then you need to let her take her time and don't push it. You should try being more intimate without being intimate for a while and see if she opens up to you. (Hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc...) Then try talking about it with her after a while if things aren't warming up, but may I suggest to start the sentance with, Honey, I love you and I love making love with you...
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 If she's tight then she's probably anxious about having intercouirse so you need to pay her a lot of attention and have a lot of foreplay. Talk to her and ask why she doesn't talk about sex, you will find the reason and be able to find a solution. You need to be more understanding about this, its very sensitive!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): You are too young to be hung up on "not" having sex with your girlfriend. The problem is not your girlfriend. If you want to have more sex then date more women. At your age there is no reason to be exclusive. You should be having fun. Just make sure you are using protection.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Maybe you are not that big, but you just don't turn her on enough. Do you even bother with foreplay?
I think you need to loose the Ego, and start making it about her and her enjoyment, if you just want to get your rocks off have a wank!
If you want sex, it's more then just you stabbing away blindly! Consider her feelings, if sex is bad for you it's 10 times worse for her.
You sound very self centred in this post and I really don't blame her for not wanting sex with you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): Hmm a couple of things here, but the one that strikes me first is she feels uncomfortable with sex in your parents house (I assume its your parents) and therefore doesnt want to.
The next thing is she might not have a lot of confidence with sex. So i would talk to her and find out what she likes and i would stopping going for full sex but just enjoy lots of hugging, kissing touching and oral.
if she won't talk just do - say to her, look i am sorry but i need to talk about it. here is a letter - and in there tell her how fabulous she is and how you just enjoy being naked with her, but know that she is uncomfortable with it so you just want to make it better. (i think a short simple, not over the top letter would be best) and tell her you love her regardless of naked or not!
Star.x.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): Is there a reason she isn't into it? Did something happen to her maybe in her past? Sex is a touchy subject in this case so I would bring it up very gently. Maybe explain to her that you only want to feel closer to her.
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