A
male
age
36-40,
*ammo41
writes:right.. erm.. im 22 years old and basically i have had very bad luck with girls from the start... one girl whom i use to go out with went off with my best mate and cos we were in the same class i had to put up with seein them on a day to day basis.. at this time i was very depressed and thought about committing suicide (i was only 16). The 2nd girl i started goin out with strung me along.. i found out later she had another boyfriend at the same time as me. By the third girl we got on really well but soon as i found out she liked me i couldn't talk to her.. felt really shy which annoyed me! i went to uni quite shy.. got to meet loads of gr8 people.. came out my shell.. then i met a girl and she ended up sleepin with my room mate! finally i met a girl who i really liked.. we got on gr8 and was with her for 2 years. we split up and i had the confidence to experience singledom! i loved it! i was outgoing.. lots of friends and had a fair bit of interest from girls (not to be bigheaded but i'm a good looking guy)After uni, once i got the degree i wanted i met this girl online who i totally fell for like she said she did for me.. i moved back to the iom (where she lives) we got on well.. ended up goin out but then the week of valentines she shagged someone else behind my back n told me the nxt day.. i stupidly forgave her... she told me she didnt want nenothing to do with him etc.. so i took her back! couple weeks later she ended it! i became really depressed.. 1 night i arranged to go out with my work mates at the pub (who were working) and my other mates.. turned up at the pub an none of my m8s showed up.. i was then relying on my work mates who were working to come out.. one by one they dropped out so i was on my own (i felt depressed and lost my personality.. i become quite shy instead of outgoing and lovable like i was at uni). One of my work mates said he wud drop the girls off n come bak for me n we wud go clubbin (my ex was in the club) bt he nver showed leavn me on my own. The nxt day i had wrk.. finished wrk.. drank a lot.. lost lots of money and went home.. my ex then told me she had pulled the guy she cheated on me wit the night b4! i nearly took an overdose cos this made me really depressed. One bank holiday after this my ex was wit me thurs and sat night bt sunday night was wit the guy she cheated on me with.. i saw them! ended up punchin the guy (i cudnt control myself) and broke my thumb n needed surgery makin me be out of wrk and gym (2 things which i enjoyed) for 6 weeks. She now is gettin with another lad every weekend.. he recieved threatening texts and they believe it to b me bt it isnt! this does nt help with me trying to forget. in conclusion i now feel i have little friends here, no money.. and i cnt stop thinkin of my ex which only depresses me more. im 22 n most of my m8s who didnt go to uni are wealthy bt i hve gt a degree and seem to have spent/lost al my money i hve owned on drink and gambling. i feel i cnt approach girls nemore.. i have lost the confidence in myself which i had.. it annoys me and gets me down. Any advice please on how i can move on and rebuild my life and become the outgoing guy i was? xx
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cheated on me, confidence, depressed, gambling, money, move on, my ex, roommate, shy, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sammo41 +, writes (10 May 2009):
sammo41 is verified as being by the original poster of the question my true personality i would say would be outgoing, friendly, and a lot of people say im a genuinly nice guy! Just with everything that has happened recently i have become quite reserved and can sometimes find myself havin difficulty with gettin involved with social situations because im thinking about everything that is wrong in my life.
Before i started dating.. i wasnt loud but got on with a lot of people etc. i mean it was at university during and after my 2 yr relationship that i was really happy with who i was.. outgoing, funny, i would talk to ne1 on a night out. i try and think back to then and how i was and just try and be like that but it's hard. i think my friends over there had a lot to do with the guy i was. we were all loud and chatty. I feel my ex has just dented my confidence incredibly!
In terms of going for a different type of girl.. im not really fussy! at uni i had been with girls who are really loud and girls who are quiet.
Its really difficult to avoid my ex also.. because i live on a small island and she goes out every weekend like me so we always see each other and she is always with a guy now. Sometimes i can shug it off and nt be nbothered by it but sometimes it just ruins my night completely.
I think i just need to regain my mojo and have another girl in my life to think about instead of dwelling on the past! lol! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): Well, from a girl's POV...Ill try to be as helpful as possible. I think this is going to take some inner thoughts about yourself and why girls treat you like crap. You rlly dont seem like the type of guy that deserves that crap. What is your true personality? What were you like b4 you started dating? Maybe you could focus on work or a hobby and wait to find a girl that you rlly connect with. Maybe you are looking and finding girls in the wrong places. Maybe you should try a different type of girl completely. Like a girl you wouldnt normally date. Sorry if Im no help, I tried. I hope you find someone and recover from the pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): To me it sounds like you put too much stock in what other people say and do. With friends, they come and go all the time. You should learn to pat yourself down and try not to care and move on from it. Why are you still in contact with your ex girlfriend? she sounds horrible. Your young, you still got time to sort your life out and get a good job.
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