A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey people long time no see,Well its been a week since the Big Drama between me and my girlfriend. The people who have been following know the deal. But anyway later on that night I called her back after many phone calls she made to me and she was apologizing for basically everything. She says she needed me in her life and that she wants to be with me and all of that stuff. I told her I do not deserve to be treated like this and that I do not want to be with someone who can't see that they are hurting me.She said she was sorry and she hopes I can forgive her. I told her that I gave her 3 chances and that if I did give her another chance it would be my last one. If anything were to happen again, I would dissapear out of her life for good. And she basically was down right crying after I said that. I asked her which way does she want it, and she said she was scared for me to give her another chance because if she did do something wrong that she wasnt aware of then I would be gone forever and she doesnt want to risk that. I told her if she considered my feelings it wouldnt be a problem. So basically we started off on a new track again. I do not see her till the weekends because we go to 2 different schools so when the weekend came up I picked her up in another state and we both rode to see our friend from high school that had a baby (5hour ride) and during that time we had a great time. We laughed talked and everything. Then we met up with our friends and stayed the weekend with our friend's family so we could see the baby shower. During that weekend we basically "got closer" and were attached to each other as if nothing ever happened. We slept with each other and everything, when we were kind of suppose to be starting off on a new track. I still feel kind of hurt from the situation though and I do not know what to do at all. We definitely love each other and want to be together. But since we spent the weekend together its like it never happened. Even though we talked on the phone for an hour about it and came to the decision that we wanted to be together still but bestfriends first (after it happened), I still feel like I need to talk with her about it because I am still feeling some type of way. We are technically back together because we act as if we are a couple and we never said we was back together but we defintely are. Since we are, I don't know what to say. Since we basically are together again should I just focus on us right now? Or should I tell her that I still am kind of hurt from the situation? How should I go about this? And do you think I should take a couple or a few days off for myself so I can heal from that? Or should I just talk to her about the situation now that she is my girlfriend again? We both want this to work out and she hasnt been calling or texting people at weird times anymore. It has completely stopped. But for how long is the question. How can I talk to my girlfriend about how I still hurt from last week and how I am kind of nervous still of what she might do in the future, without making it seem like Im just attacking her????? I need some help. Past links (history on story)http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriends-late-phone-calls-with-another-guy-.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-said-she-would-stop-talking-to-him.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriend-is-begging-to-not-lose-me-i.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-is-begging-me-to-give-her.html
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, miamiheat31 +, writes (12 July 2010):
Listen buddy, this is very easy- all you have to do is not get back in a relationship and just "date" her until she proves herself to be worthy of a relationship again. Meanwhile you can date other women to see if there is anything out there, you are not cheating because you are not in a relationship and she knows that she has to start proving herself better before you take the trip down the "relationship road" again. what do I mean by proving herself? Make sure she does something for you that would otherwise not be requested, make sure its something big..I mean you are worth it after all right?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Hi, I hope I can answer your questions without reading the other posts. Because really, what it seems to be coming down to now is that you feel the need to slow things down and not rush back into just being together again as if nothing happened. This is the right way of thinking, I know from personal experience that it is very easy to simply fall back into the routine as if nothing happened at all. But going back as if nothing happened doesnt make the problem go away, and you are in fact not dealing with it at all. It could be good to simply move on, but you are not ready for that just yet. Explain to your girlfriend that although you did have sex already, you would like it if you could wait with the sex. You feel that that is what is best for you and the relationship right now. Sort of taking a break and breathing out, and not rushing back into the relationship and each other. You can still be together as in kisses and hugs (its very hard not to give kisses when 1. you are so used to doing it and 2. you care so much about each other). Holding hands is also nice. But sleep in separate beds until you feel the relationsip is strong enough to stand on its own two legs. Taking time away to be with yourself can be good as well, but I think it is best of you "hide" that you are going away, or keep it to yourself. I say this because if you show it in her face that you need to be alone, it will hurt her, confuse her (because you took her back) and cause more fights and drama. So I suggest that if you want time alone, arrange a causal trip for yourself and simply inform her of your plans, without going into detail about why you need this trip. Or you can go with a friend of yours. The thing is that if you tell her you need time alone to think she will probably get scared that you might not want her after all.
...............................
|
