A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Update: I am the one who asked "How can I truly rid myself of this married man?" Well, I haven't "shaken" dude away from me yet. I keep going back and forth. He came over to my house (no, we weren't intimate). I started to cry because I wanted to be with him but know it is wrong on SO many levels. We had a very deep discussion about this fiasco. I revealed to him what my sorority sister told me all about married men. I even revealed the advice I got from this website! My soror says that my case is different because he's the only man I know intimately. I don't agree with that part. He told me he loves me and that when a woman is in love she'll show it, she'll do things to keep her man, etc. He says since the beginning of their marraige his wife has never done this. I kept repeating to him: "But when it's all said and done, you aren't going anywhere; you are staying with your family". He gets quiet. Anyway....Now, he contacts me every now, then, and again. This is the usual scenario: He'll call me, I'll miss his call (or won't answer), I'll give in and return his call, only to receive his voice mail. I get the vibe that he's purposely not answering. Hours later(sometimes days)he'll send a "good morning" text as though nothing ever happened. I'll ask him did he get my call or message and he'll say: 1. I fell asleep 2. My phone was dead 3. I knew you would "think too much" if I'm away from you for awhile. I'm so dang confused right now. There are ZERO positives in this whole ordeal other than I'm positive I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My blood pressure can hardly play "he loves me, he loves me not"! I'm too old for this cow manure! Maybe I should move back to my home town and tell noone, not even my parents? What do you guys think? What the devil is my problem? Why do I love this married man? Why does he continue to string me along if he claims to love me so much?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"Rosita" YOU have replied to an OLD post. Use P.L.O.R.E. and read then re-read the updated question then solicit your grand advice. Yes, YOU'VE waisted YOUR time answering an OLD post...
Love to you....girl
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): YOU have chosen this life and lifestyle so basically perhaps you just need to accept your status as a mistress and nothing else. You will not learn ,in fact yiu have chosen not to learn from anything anyone here have said. I think everyone just wasted their efforts, just am I doing.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay...so, I'm the one who asked how to truly rid myself of this married man. Well, he disappeared (or popped out) again and I have the nerve to be angry, hurt, upset, used, defiled, etc. What's wrong with me? What hold does this creep have on me? Why do I keep wasting my energy and thoughts on this coward butt wipe?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Amen to the advise you were just given! That is the truth...he will NEVER leave his wife. You have to be the one stop this. You have to come to the reality that you are allowing him to play head games with you. The sad part is..you are probably no the only one he is cheating with on his wife.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Been there. I wasted 7 years with one guy.
And along the way I learned, "A mistress should never force a married man to choose between herself and his wife. He will ALWAYS choose his wife." If you happen to find the rare guy who will leave his wife for you, you will forever look over your shoulder wondering whether or not he's cheating on YOU, now that YOU'RE the wife - once a cheater; always a cheater.
I also learned that the reason I was screwing married men was that I had commitment issues. I still do - LOL - after years of therapy, but at least I've identified them, am working with them, and stay away from married men.
My advice to you would be to completely ignore all contact he makes and don't attempt to contact him. Get into therapy. Do your best to move on.
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A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 He doesn't love you. MM say the things they know you want to hear. He's hardly going to say straight-out that he doesn't give two hoots about you, or that he will never leave his wife, or that he loves his wife or that they have a good sex life. No way... he'll string you along, say he misses you and that you have something that his wife has never given him, blah blah blah. Your choice - give him up or continue wasting your life, emotions and sanity on this cheating jerk. Dead End Street honey, he's using you.
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A
male
reader, Pazush  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Hi,
youre inlove with him for two major resons
1. it is a forbidden relationship
2. it is known for 99% to you that you wont make him leave his family
he knows he wont have to leave, he dosnt argue with you or make you think about any future. he only care about whats happening now.
you, you should think about the future.
and there is no future with a man that cheats on the woman he is married with. even if he will leave her, he will do the same to you.
its not the love hes missing, it is action.
youre missing love. go find it, waste no time... any minute smiling insted of being comfused is great
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