A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we had such a wonderful relationship, fullfilled it in every way apart from not completly trusting him, just little things made me parinoid and i was constantly on the look out for signals. i found evidence on a number of times and he denied it and i beleived him because i love him soo very much, but in the back of my mind, it wasnt right. we both love each other sooo very much and cant bear to be apart, but only last week i found his emails, to women he found on the internet, arranging to meet up (hes saying he didnt meet any of them) and that it was all a game and when it came to actually meeting them, he backed out! some of the emails was of a sexual behaviour and these emails have been going on for a year almost. i am Totally destroyed and feel soo alone, my family have been a great support as they think the world of him and me and tell me that i must stay and sort this out. ive had to take time off work, cant sleep, cant eat, all the usual. we planned soo much for our future and now he says he doesnt know why hes done this to me and is full of guilt and remorse of what hes done to me. please give me the strength to see some sort of light at the end of this as i no longer can.Thank you sooo very much
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2005): First of all ur not the first and wont be the last,weve all been there and done that.I know is not easy and you feel ur world is falling apart because u love him dearly, but i know youve heard this before,but life does go on.Is just like they say u learn from ur mistakes and that helps u to carry on.You have to think that you gave him ur all and all he did was set u up for another fall.Forget about him and think about you because life is short and theres someone special waiting for you,God Bless You,and good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2005): I have to say that my ex-boyfriend did the exact same thing. I'm sorry to say but the assurances that he gives about never meeting them really isn't the point. Bottom line is do you trust him? Think about the fact that when he goes out with his friends, is he really going with them or not. My ex told me he did it to pass the time..I accepted it and wound up wondering over and over again what it was I lacked and what he saw in the women he was chatting with on the net. It can lead you down a path of self-destruction, and since old habits die hard, I'm sorry dear but either confront him and tell him that you aren't willing to put up with it or else put up with it and be miserable. It's hard, but it's something you have to decide for yourself. My ex to this day is single because he continues to chat and date online. You're not alone..remember that. You are a great person and have a lot to offer, so there is no need to put with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you don't deserve to be treated this way, and then go and tell him.
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A reader, Starr, writes (3 February 2005): First of all let me explain something to you ,you are not a fool please don't allow him to play you like one.You are allowing this man to continuously hurt you not to mention stress you out to the point that your health is at risk.My question to you is why would you put yourself through that type of torture.When you find evidence don't make it so easy for him to persuade you to believe something that is completely unbelievable.Be a strong woman stand up for your heart, your love,your feelings never let a man make a fool out of you. You are a grown woman you know exactly what you need to do to find out what you need know.The emails you found surely has the womans email address on them why not email her to tell her who you are and find out exactly who she is.As far as your family telling you to work through this, noone can tell you what you are going through,noone feels what you feel when these things happen so no one can tell you what to stay in a commitment when their is a chance that you are the only one committed.Pull yourself together girl.I know deep inside you know what needs to be done and no one has to tell you a damn thing.
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