A ,
anonymous
writes: When I first saw this guy I felt instant attraction, and since then it has not gone away it has become much stronger! To the point I almost feel obsessed, no matter what I try and do I cannot get him out of my head! The problem is I met this guy at the same time as my then boyfirend...who is now my husband! We all became friends, I have a good friendship with this guy and we have openly talked about our mutual attraction! Nothing has ever happenned between us! We do flirt but no more. This has been going on for over 3 years. My relationship with my husband has alway been difficult, he is a drinker, and is not violent or anything but it does make me hate him beacuse he has done stupid and very serious things because of it and at times I fear our future will be jeopardised! We have been together for 10 years, we met in our late teens! This other guy has had on and off relationships of which I envy, and it is in these times that he is least attentive to me. Although my friends say that when we are in a room together, the way he looks at me is obvious. My question I guess is what do I do about this guy, does he still like me, if he does then what? I feel this almost unbearable attraction to him and I am desperate to be close with him!! HELP ME!??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Heather, writes (5 February 2005): A possible reason why your attraction to this other man is due to the lack of attraction you now have in your husband. Earlier in life you were attracted to this man, but clearly chose the other, who you later married.It sounds like your best solution would be to first deal with your husband. Be it either finding a counsler to work through your relationship and his drinking problems, or to end you marriage instead of putting yourself through more misery. You deserve a better life.After you deal with your husband, then you can decide how you feel about this other man, and pursue him if you choose. But whether or not he has affections for you should not dictate how you handle your current relationship. There is always the possibility that this other man just enjoys the attention and is messing with you. If this is the case, do you still want to leave your husband? If not, I would seriously think over your situation before doing anything drastic.
A reader, anna, writes (4 February 2005): what about your husband? dont you love him still?, he still needs you.if you feel you will be forever stuck with your drunked husband.. dont put up with it. I expect you have already tried to help him, but dont waste your life away just because you might feel guilty.x anna
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