A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at a bar of all places, i thought he was the bouncer, so i gave him my id and we started talking. Only to find out later that he wasnt the bouncer just some guy in a black tshirt who wanted to talk to me.. from the moment i saw him i knew that there was something there..We ended up talking most of the night, and he came back to my house after the bar closed up, nothing happened we watched the incredibles and fell asleep together fully clothed.. we had made out a bit but that was all.the next morning he takes my number and we start talking via text an phone calls next thing i know we are dating... im going over his house every night after work... everything is going great but he wont let me meet his mom, who if she is at home when im there he checks the coast before i was allowed upstairs.after 6 months i tell him i need to meet your parents, a week later he tells me that this all happened too fast, he needs some time alone to think.... he disappears.. i dont hear from him for 3 months then i get a phone call.. we talk again for 2 weeks and then hes gone againthen a year later he texts me this long thing apologizing and says he wants to see me... me being the idiot that i am agree, one for an explanation and two because no one has ever made me feel the way that he did.We go to a phillies game, but before we go he introduces me to his parents, i think wow... as we are tail gating he is heming and hawing over telling me something. then he just spits it out, he says that he is in love with me. that he thinks that as corny as it sounds that i am his soulmate. he said he thought about me constantly while we were apart and then he proceeds to tell me that he stopped talking to me because he had a girlfriend, and he felt it wrong to do what he was doing to me before. i thought had ment he broke up with her. he tells me that he used to drive by my work and sit in the parking lot across the street just to be near me... or put on a video that we fell asleep to all the time. all these things that is someone else said that i would have been creeped out but it was different with him somehow... for the only time in my life i was really in lovefrom then on we were dating we went out all the time, he introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend. I thought this is the guy i want to be with I was actually in love. I am not a sentimental person by any means but he made me want to do sweet things for him... idk what it was about him but i felt more connected to him then to anyone i ever in my life. I never believed in soulmates till i met him. this goes on for 5 months.then i find out that he is still with the girlfriend. she calls me the same weekend that i find this out. apparently they have been together for 8 years. she tells me not to contact him.I cant help it i need to contact him, him and i sit down and talk to him. he tells me that he feels that he owes it to her to try to make things work because he wronged her.... i really love him so i tell him to do what makes him happy... i didnt fight for us being together... He tells me that he will always think of me and that he wishes things could be different. that this was the hardest decision he has ever made. and he gets all teary... and now i havent talked to him in almost 2 years but i still think about him daily... and i know he still thinks about me because i still talk to some of his friends who try to plan an accidental meeting, and says he still talks about me, because they know how happy he was when he was with me and how unhappy he is now..so now im stuck wondering what do i do from here?thanks to anyone who read this novel and any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sydnee  +, writes (8 February 2010):
Dear Anonwowunfortunately this is down to him nowtheres nothing you can do except get on with your life, if he wants to be with you and only you he will leave her in time just keep on going and see how things pan outdont try and get back with him while he is still in a relationship because that way he doesnt have to wake up and face what he needs to do he can see you both and get the best of both worlds in the long run you will be made out to be the bad guy if you dodate other people and try to move on then, if he comes to his senses Great!if not, you started moving on anywayGood LuckSydnee x
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