A
female
age
36-40,
*orngirl
writes:This isn't hugely relevant to this site although it is related to a relationship, however didn't know where else to ask...need advice quick! :)My boyfriend and I are moving in together soon and we are stuck between two apartments. One is really large and has plenty of space. It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a large integrated kitchen and lounge, and a storage company. It’s down points are that the apartment has a less homely or cheery feel to it. It has brick walls on one side which leave it with a somewhat gloomy and cold ‘look’ in my mind.The other option is a much lighter, more homely apartment, but this is smaller. It is open plan with stairs in the centre up to a ‘bedroom’ area, however the only enclosed rooms are the bathroom and shower room. Therefore when upstairs in bed you would be able to hear the TV on downstairs. It’s marketed as a two bedroom apartment, however the space adjacent to the bed area is not big enough for a second room, possibly for a desk and cupboard however. It does have a balcony running round almost half of the apartment. There’s not much open space, but there are lots of nooks and crannies eg under the stairs where books and other bits and pieces could be stored away. The feel of this second apartment is much more welcoming, but at the same time it could become somewhat claustrophobic. One person could be downstairs and the other upstairs, but not having a door to close means sound would travel – so one person couldn’t play music while the other was working. Also, my boyfriend has to leave pretty early some mornings when he commutes to an office in another city, so I’m concerned about not being able to get back to sleep due to noise in the kitchen. The large apartment costs slightly more but not so much to rule it out. I don’t know if we’d be silly not to take it given the space, and try and get curtains fitted to the walls so the windows aren’t bare, and maybe get some pictures up if possible. It still might have a slightly oppressive feel but with cute home furnishings maybe this could be lessened. The other apartment would feel nice and would be somewhere I’d be happy to live by myself, but I’m worried we’d have no space from each other and I’d end up feeling trapped. Basically, focusing on bad points it’s between an apartment that for all its space does have a somewhat oppressive feel, versus a light and homely apartment which could end up feeling trapping or cluttered.Help?!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 February 2010):
 Think about it this way - you can always use decorations and furniture to make a place feel and look a bit better, but you cannot change the dimensions and space of a building!
Go for the one with more space - living together for the first time is a tough transition and you will have to get used to each other, so you need to make sure you have enough space so you are not on top of each other all the time and you have your own space if needs be.
Plus you are merging 2 people's possessions and belongings, think about it - you each have your own bedrooms full of stuff - so imagine trying to cram 2 bedroom's worth of things into 1 room!
In terms of moving in together for the first time, bigger is always better!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Living together for the fist time? Take the LARGER apartment. Definitely. I can not stress this enough. Space is GREAT. You plan to live there for a while right? More space allows you to rest from each other. Even if two people get along 100% amazingly, there comes a time when you are on your period, he's frustrated about the TV not working, and you will be wishing so hard for a place to lay down, close the door, and rest your head. Having a place to relax and be alone for a little is vital.
Plus there's the benefits of a two bedroom apartment: you can have friend and family visit and spend the night. If you want a new family member (like a baby, or even a dog) there's a room for that. The spare room can work as an office (you need peace to work) or as a storage room. As for the cold walls, cover them with furniture or a wall-blanket. But believe me, furniture covering the walls and you will hardly notice the walls. You will make it homey! Large plants, paintings, everything can be used!
But in the end, you definitely will want a place where you and your bf wont have to sit on top of each other all the time.
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