A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relatonship with this guy for almost two years. At the beginning, I felt I love him, but right now, I don't know whether what I feel for him is gratitiude or love because of the many things he has done for me in our relationship. The problem is we fight a lot and over unneccesary issues too. He can check the messages on my phone and it generates a fight. Sometimes I feel I love him but sometimes I feel I don't. I'm in love with another guy right now and I don't want to have two boyfriends at a time. My current boyfriend wants us to have sex all the time and I don't like that. Because of him, I've had three abortions and this is not something I'm proud of. I don't know whether this relationship is going to work and I feel I'm going to be happy with the guy I've fallen in love with. I need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): Well [ut it into this prospective ~ if you have a baby girl to him, her life will be made hell, due to the fact she has a maiac for a father.
It is your responsibility to provide a safe and secure living environment for your future family.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): I suggest you give the current B/F the flick.
It is time to move on, the abortions will not help you having a family later.
You appear to have (ar a time) self respect, you need to regain this help secure your future.
God Bless...
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 July 2006):
 I think you need to separate from your current boyfriend to give yourself the time and space to think. DON'T jump straight from a bad relationship to another, unknown relationship, because I don't think you even know why you're unhappy right now. And if you don't know what's making you snappy with your BF, how can you prevent it happening with a new guy?
I don't understand why you keep becoming pregnant to a guy you don't even love, and why you keep having abortions. Please start using some more reliable form of contraception! It's easy to get a script for the Pill, or to have an implant etc. Just go and see a doctor, or talk to them at the abortion clinic. Moral and religious arguments aside, abortion is a procedure that carries health risks, and you can't keep doing this to yourself indefinitely.
Though your letter is a little thin on detail, what I get from it is this: you've been with him for 2 years but you aren't sure you love him any more, you argue too much, he wants sex more than you and neither of you is taking responsibility for contraception.
And the good points are...?
Meanwhile, you've transferred your affections to someone else, so there's even less incentive to fix things with your current boyfriend.
Do everyone a favour, and move into a place of your own, either alone or with a girlfriend. Please don't go straight into a relationship with the new guy, because you need time to get your head straight, find out who you are and learn to rely on yourself so you can be an equal partner in your relationships with men.
It doesn't sound like you even want to fix what's wrong with this relationship that you're in, and it comes across as pretty dysfunctional to me. Move on.
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