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male
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anonymous
writes: My friend and I have been getting along perfectly, then 1 month ago she suddenly lost contactI met this girl in June last year. She is 33, I’m 38. We spoke occasionally when we met through an activities club. Then one month later she gave up her job because she was feeling ill. I hardly knew her but she seemed friendly so I expected she would carry on attending our club. 10 months later, ie May this year, I bumped into her on the bus. I couldn’t believe my luck. She said that she was very ill and around Christmas last year she tried to commit suicide. She takes anti-depressants. She had also been going out with a guy she met in August. She split up with him around April.Anyway, she asked me to ring her. I did so and we arranged to meet around twice a week. She said she did not want to have relationship with anyone due to the bad time she had with ex boyfriend. I was OK with this and was happy being just friends but told her I really liked her and she said she thought it best to let things take natural course. Being a shy chap I find it difficult talking about anything I feel.Now here is the really odd part: One month ago we arranged to meet for a drink. About 3 hours before we arranged to meet she texted me to tell me she had to look after a sick neighbour. I only got this message just before I planned to leave the flat. I rang her but she was not in so I left a message saying that I wish she had told me earlier in the day. I left another message an hour later and said that I knew it was more important for her to look after neighbour than meet me since we could go out anytime. I rang her the following day - still no answer. I rang a week later - still no answer. I have left her messages once a week expressing my concern that she is ill herself.Could she have tried to kill herself again? Does she want to be left alone? Has she got new boyfriend (I think she would have told me by now)?I am really worried about her and I miss her and fear that something terrible has happened. Why hasn’t she called? What do you think I should do?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (5 July 2006):
 If you know where she lives, maybe pop round to see if she is okay so at least you can stop worrying. If shes okay at least you will know and then you can give her, her space. But I think what you really want to know is if she is ok. If you do know where shes lives or where she is likely to be then go along and at least put your mind at rest. Im hoping that she is okay and at least once you know you will have less to stress about, with a bit of luck she may just feel that shes doesnt want interaction from someone else and just couldnt tell you that. At least you will know and will be able to move on. Maybe even text her to let her know that you know shes needs space and you would like to help, but respect she needs to deal with things on her own, but could she please at least let you know she is okay. Then you can at least get your head round things.
Hope things are okay, im sure they will be, shes just not up to being with anyone at the moment and its easier to switch you off, than have to tell you shes not interested so as not to have a confrontation. so stress in the message that you accept she wants to be alone and you wont ask questions but you just need to know shes okay.
Take care x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): You're a genuine caring guy and obviously worried about her. She's a girl who's got a lot of problems. I'm positive that if anything bad had happened to her then I'm sure you would've been contacted by her family and friends because she has your number on her phone. I would say not to contact her anymore, she knows where you are and if she needs you then she will probably be in touch. My only thoughts are she has so many problems in her personal life that maybe she is unable at this moment to sustain a relationship.If she needs you then I'm sure she will be in touch. But don't hold out for her. Best of luck.
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