A
male
age
30-35,
*obbay123
writes:Hi. I'm a 15 year old male from England.My Best Friend has a wide family. His Dad left for an American Girl and they ran away together to America to live happily ever after.Well, he has a Sister (she's not even his Sister, they just treat eachother as Bro and Sis). She's from America, and she's just amazing.I swear, when I first spoke to her, I could've fallen in love with her accent, let alone her unbelievable good looks and her great personality. We have lots in common, and we especially share a bond with eachothers music.She has this effect on people. Her American confidence and stuff, it radiates all over you and you know she's something special.Trouble is, I only see her once a year. That's like... 1 in 365 days?I've seen her two years in a row. I keep in touch with her via MySpace and Messenger. However, due to time differences it's a rare pleasure to contact her via this.We have a good laugh when she's here, although my best friend gets a little protective over her and our conversations fail to exceed anything more than just about England and America. Or else, he butts in and brings up a great memory they share to completely cut off anything.I did fall madly in love with her. But I realised that I'll never have her. Not only is she too good for me, but she has a life in America, and that will always throw away any chance as it is.I realise now that I just want to be close to her. I wanna share a relationship with her, but not love, friendship. I want her to feel comfortable around me. I wanna hold a deep conversation with her too. Where it's nothing else, it's just me and her, concentrating on one another. I want to know what she thinks, how she feels, see the world through her eyes, and her to see the same through me.However, when she's in England, when she's out and about, her eyes are everywhere. She's seeing things she's never seen. Feeling an atmosphere she's never felt. Meeting people she's never met. There's no time to sit there and just... talk!Has anyone other English Man had this amazing effect from an American? Has anyone else got a similar situation?Has anyone got any helpful information. And not the usual "Move on" info I hear from Yahoo Answers. I've seen some supportive answers in the most painful of subjects on this website, and I figured this place would be comforting and supportive for the several relationship/love problems I've had.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (1 June 2008):
bobbay123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I'd like to, but I cant get to your profile, it says error.
You'll have to private message me.
A
female
reader, °Ale°  +, writes (1 June 2008):
 Ah... yes yes
I get it now :p tell you what, send me a private message here (oh man.. that's sounded wrong! it must not be my day) but I do have much more to say just not enough time for now.
But do keep in touch, okay?
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A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (1 June 2008):
bobbay123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHAHA! Thank you for your comments Ale.
Your sense of humour is remarkable.
I doubt she's anywhere near you, but I shan't give away any details or that'd be wrong.
Obviously unless you're willing to say which state you reside from then I'll confirm whether she's close or not.
But either way there's nothing I wish to be done.
I like your style, I could at least say "You can't say I didnt try!".
I have tried to talk with her, especially whilst she's still in America.
She doesn't always reply on MySpace, and I dont talk to her ALL the time because I dont want to give her the impression (For some reason I think its best to keep my feelings from her).
She's not on Messenger much. She's always on AIM, but I dont use that and when I tried to I didnt get it running.
And then I became skeptical on the idea as MySpace, MSN, Facebook AND AIM begins to sound a bit obsessive/stalking.
I really want to build a friendship with her so she can be trusting in me. In the little amount of times I've spoken to her she tells me about her hobbies and about guys she likes at the time etc, and as progressive as this seems I'm making no progress, and we're even less close when we meet eachother in person. There's a lack of confidence unlike IM/Messenging.
Any suggestions for building a friendship since this is what I'm aiming for?
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A
female
reader, °Ale° +, writes (1 June 2008):
Well, the connection is there, right? Perhaps working on pursuing a more significant relation- even if it means a long distance one, would be the goal.You seem to be so preoccupied with all these reasons as to why you two wouldn't work, rather than think of all the possibilities or even things that you can do or say to get her more interested. Now, if you feel in your heart that there's no chance in hell that you two could ever be together, then I suggest you try with all your might to forget about her and find yourself a wonderful english girl ;)But, I feel like its better to have tried and either fail or succeed, than to sit back and relax knowing that you couldve done something.I live in America, tell me where she is and I will hunt her down for you! :) kidding ... that actually sounded creepy, so nevermind!Good luck, buddy!
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A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (1 June 2008):
bobbay123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again man, I've been waiting for some replies because your first reply was good but I need a thorough explanation.
I wont go for the MSN approach yet, as ya know, it's not neccessary, but as we go further I'll see if IM will be an easier approach to this.
Private Message me your addy if you wanna explain things better.
I understand your thoughts, but you forgot about the part that most of the time, having fun with her gets brought to a stand-still when my protective best friend will relate to the topic and bring up a memory HE shares with her. This completely throws away any opportunity.
There's no breakthrough into her either. She's simply not the girl I see in her pictures over in America. I can tell she isnt herself, so I cant even break through this shell she forms, let alone my friends protective shell.
I explained to my friend that I really do like her not long after I first met her. And he understood me. And, it may sound wrong (although he isnt truly related to her, and he hasnt actually said this) but I think he's actually felt the same feelings for her.
He seems so understanding of the situation, but he's no agony aunt. I believe he's gone through a similar process.However there's a difference. She is good friends with him, and they do share fond memories and such. Something I dont have, and cant get.
And sometimes I feel he (my friend) may be preventing me from becoming a good friend with her because he may be slightly possessive over her.
This brings a whole lot of preventions (is that a word?) and confusion into this situation but I'm trying to keep this as simple/based on her as possible.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (1 June 2008):
 Ok thats still fine but how can you measure friendship??????? you cant really find a way. if you do find a way you will just be justifying that you are friends.
friendship is a word. you cant see friendship its not something that exists.
however you can see her when she laughs at your jokes and you see her talking to you about her problems and sharing yours, you can see on her face that the time she spends with you is fun.
my point is dont strive to be a certain status with people. concentrate on simple things like just bieng there when she is there to communicate in the natrual human way. same with serious relationships. you say your in a serious relationship when your selecting it from a drop down list when you apply for a bloody credit card! its a status which only companies and the government need to know. it shouldnt add or take away from the fact that if you spend time together and she laughs with you, has fun and you see it in her eyes, she shares problems with you. you can see these things that should be feeding your confidence in the fact that your building memories which when we look back on. we can feel positivly about!!! thats how you bend reality. you need to thing outside the box like i just did. collapse negative things until you can find a thought path around it that makes it suddenly positive. add me on msn if you want more of an explanation to make you feel a bit more happier about things!
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A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (1 June 2008):
bobbay123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you a-g55.
I appreciate your time for reading and observing my situation.
I understand your thoughts on my reality. But I have searched through myself throughout the year since I met her to find this reality.
I didnt tell myself this straight away. I have wanted her all this time. I've visioned what I'd love to have, but eventually, about 8 months after I'd first met her, the fire burning inside of me died down, and I accepted that this was all just me living a lie.
The question is not about succeeding with friendship. I believe that is what I crave because it is one step closer to her.
I think deep down I want to form a friendship so I can work from there. But this is all an 'on the spot' suggestion. I'm trying to see how I feel towards her, I feel like I'm leaking information out piece by piece, but this is just me trying to search for a response to you.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (1 June 2008):
You have these thoughts in your head about what you want but you keep teeling yourself they will never happen. You may think there is only one reality and that is this earth but you will be wrong. everyones brain is a version of thier own reality. controled by thier beliefs and thoughts. Saying it will never happen may seem realistic to you but it isnt realy going to get you anywhere thinking that. You want to be at a certain status with her. friendship, her to feel comfortable. how can you measure that? what you need to do is make the time she is here Fun and Funny with you bieng the person who controls it. You will natrually fall into this state of friendship when you control your own reality!
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