A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im in love with my best friend, who doesn't love me back. i have to spend all day every day with him and it's so painful. what do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2014): i have to spend all day with him because i got to a college that is 10am till 8pm and there is only 11 students… so we are pretty much together all the time. also he does know and he said he loves me but only as a best friend :(
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Why do you have to spend all day every day with him ? Are you cell mates in jail ? :)
If you mean that you are coworkers, or classnates at school, then, first it's not all day every day, second it only means that you are sharing physical space ( and also that you are a bad worker or student because your attention should be focused on the task at hand regardless of who's around ). You CAN achieve emotional detachment, with a bit of good will, even if you are compelled to see the person. It takes self discipline , of course, and it takes getting more involved and more concentrated on whatever you are doing other than your love life. And it takes accepting that you can't always get what you want, and that you can learn to want different things - romantically and otherwise. I.e. : accept that still for a while you may have uncomfortable, painful feelings about the situation- why not, it's normal, everybody's life is about joys AND sorrrows. But also, refuse to indulge in them, to wallow in those thoughts. See them , and let them pass by like clouds in a sky.
This, only if you mean that you are , like, sharing the same cubicle at the office. Otherwise, you don't have to spend all your time around him. You can see other friends, hang out with other people, take up new hobbies and interests, or just stay at home on your own more.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Why do yo HAVE to spend EVERY day with him?
If you are in the same class/school you don't HAVE to hang out all the time.
And If there is no affection or emotion from his side, then you NEED to accept that it's a CRUSH you have and it's TIME to let it go. You are holding yourself back from meeting someone who can reciprocate your feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): Two questions..
Does he know that you have feelings for him?
Why do you have to spend all day, every day with him?
When I've suffered from unrequited love I choose to distance myself as much as possible from them, even if they've been a good friend in the past.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Been there; done that.
If you are in love with someone who does not feel the same way about you.... then, you are wasting your time. Ultimately, you can - and will - make a fool of yourself trying to convince yourself - and him - that there is "something there"... when, in fact, there isn't....
Save your soul and give up on him....
Good luck....
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