A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old male, i was with my ex girlfriend for almost 2 years through college and we were deeply in love. We suddenly split up due to university and that her parents disliked me (for traditional values, they had never actually met me). Today, I'm just home from spending the weekend at my ex's university flat. we had a great time together, but on Saturday night i brought up the issue of us being together and this leaded to a huge argument. the bottom line is...i love her as much now as i ever have done, and I'm completely lost without her, it drives me crazy not being with her...iv always followed my heart in life but I'm starting to think is it finally time to swap this for logic and accept defeat? iv met a girl through a friend who wants to go on a date this weekend coming. But I'm still in unrequited love with my ex...any advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): finalize things with the ex first. tell her your situation. tell her she is you first choice but you have other girls who want to date you and you have no desire to date them unless she tells you that you two can't happen. just be honest. anything else will end up in a mess. trust me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): To be honest, don't do the dating thing yet. You are simply not ready, emotionally. You need to work on yourself, first. Dating others to get over an ex gf, is unfair to the new girl who could possibly end up really liking you. And dating her to try to move on..without properly healing is exploitation of another person's feelings. I suggest rather than dating..is that you call up your friends and get out and have fun with people you know well and trust...simply to start the painful task of distracting yourself and practicing the process of taking your mind of this ex gf. Stop your emotional suffering and yes,,,use your logic, personal courage and strength. Realize that part of what hurts is not reality. It's just the pain of losing the mental image you've keep creating in your own mind, of how wonderful things would be if your ex gf would simply respond. You know it's over..you know she won't respond. Keep telling yourself that. Pining and hurting for someone, who doesn't love you anymore, months is just plain foolish and a waste of time. And the best thing to do...stop all contact with the ex. No phoning, no emailing, no texting. Try an experimental run..do it for one-two weeks. See if you can. It will be hell for you but make plans to keep yourself very, very busy. I'm guessing after a few weeks, you will be able to 'finally see the light and think logically'. The key is strength of character and willpower..and remember this quote I heard 'pain is necessary and suffering is optional.' It's YOUR choice, hun. I wish you well and please take good care of yourself. Keep me posted on how you make out. Take Care
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Go on the date. Often taking the first step to moving on helps a lot. As for more positive steps to getting over that girl, stop going to places where she'll be and set a date in your head when you won't let yourself like her anymore. Sometimes a little positive willpower goes a long way!
CD
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