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anonymous
writes: I have been in a steady relationship with a girl I love very much for around 11 months. It is in essence long-distance as we live around 50 miles away from each other and only get to see each other at weekends. The other weekend I went out where I live and got very drunk, unfortunately I ended up having unprotected sex with a girl who I had slept with previous to my current relationship.
I have spent the last week wondering what to do, as it was a silly but serious mistake over which to jeopardise a relationship with someone who I feel I could spend the rest of my life with. It seems that alcohol always gets me into situations like this, where I become needy and thoughtless and leave myself with huge worries arising from my actions. I want to stay with my girlfriend so much, talking with her this week has only served to reinforce that, however I fear that telling her will finish us and hurt her alot.
The problem is I am paranoid over the issue of STD's especially HIV but am certainly not now willing to risk unprotected sex with my girlfriend (which is the norm for us). I do not therefore see how this situstion can be remedied, I hope you can help.
C
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male
reader, girardi86  +, writes (6 May 2009):
hey bro its my number one fear i cought clamydia one day with an x i was with for 4 years and she ended up giving me the big C so now i have sex with an old friend from some time ago and now i feel like i have it again only now im so ancious i cant sleep im scared to go get checked to find nout theres anything else wrong someone needs to tell me what to do to im scared!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): Dude, going through the exact same thing right now... here's what I figured out... the chances of you catching an STD... 30/70 unless the girl you slept with sleeps around, is an IV drug user, or had a blood transfusion... The statistics for a heterosexual male to get HIV in a one stand are favorable. Not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm sure you're okay. I'd be more worried about catching Chlamydia... (which is the most common STD for people under 25.) Don't quote me, but I think 1 in 4 sexually active people under 25 will experience Chlamydia... not only that, most people don't realize they have it! "A" symptomatic. As far as telling your girl. Listen, if you make this a habit... you're a jerk, if it was a one time mistake, spare your girlfriend's emotions and take the secret to the grave. People make mistakes, it is what you learn from them that makes the difference. I know the stakes seem high, because if you caught something not only hurting someone physically that you love, and I believe you love her, but you're hurting them emotionally as well. If you tell her now, it's only to alleviate your own guilt and that has a level of selfishness associated with it as well....
So in summary... Don't tell her. Get tested. You probably don't have HIV. But you're rolling the dice with other little tidbits like Gonorrhea, HPV, etc.... Make sure you wait a while before you get tested... a few weeks, it takes time for these nasty little demons to kick up.... but if I were a betting man, I'd say you're probably okay and just amplifying your paranoia because you feel guilty about what you've done.
You'll be okay.
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female
reader, love-him  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Get tested straight away I hope i helped & good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2005): You should let her know because if she gets checked and she comes out positive for an STD knowing that she is faithful, she will confront with your secret and break up with you anyway, because you choose to keep it from her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2005): First off, if you’re worried about STDs and all that, go get tested before doing anything with your g/f. That would only be the right thing to do, that way you don’t pass anything you may have onto her. If you truly feel for your g/f and don’t want her to know what you did, don’t tell her, but don’t do it again either. Learn from your mistakes.
If alcohol does this to you, don’t put yourself in that situation where something like this can happen again. Think about how you would like it if she was doing the same thing to you while she wasn’t with you… That wouldn’t be enjoyable. So if you want to stay with her, just keep away from the situations where you start to feel all needy or whatever and think about what she would do. But definitely go get yourself tested before anything else happens cuz if she gets something, she’s bound to know something’s been going on.
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