A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i LOVE my guy and cant wait to see him or talk to him or anything like that everyday. and i get lonely and i mean really lonely without him... am i obsessed? and how can i change that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 If you feel you absolutely HAVE to see or talk with him EVERY day, then yes, you are obsessed.
Look at it this way: the two of you may be in a relationship and dating, BUT you are not joined at the hip, as it were, like siamese twins.......you (I really hope you do) and he has a life of your/his own. School or work, to begin with, maybe a family - parents, siblings, etc. Then friends of the same sex (or friends of the opposite sex who you/he do not sleep or flirt with - in other words, they're platonic buddies).
For a relationship to be healthy, you both need time apart. To do the activities you enjoy and find meaningful. Not to mention taking care of household chores, and bills, etc.......
Going out at least once during the week and then twice on a weekend - maybe Friday/Sunday, or Saturday, but not necessarily ALL weekend, not unless you've made plans to go on a trip together, or with friends.......and never, ever drop already-made plans to see your women friends just because he calls you up and suggests meeting!
You may get lonely as you say, but that's why I've talked about your family, friends, and fun activities, above, because you need to find something other than your boyfriend that really catches your interest and is absorbing and fun......
You don't want to "wear out your welcome" with him, ya know!
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, thekidamidstall +, writes (6 December 2010):
Hmm...by the sound of it you're becoming a bit too clingy as opposed to obsessed. I take it feelings of sadness also ensue? Either way, you should be able to be really happy around him, but at the same time feel okay without him at your side. Thinking about him often and such is okay, but again you shouldn't emotionally feel like crap without him, otherwise being in the relationship won't be good for you emotionally.
I used to feel the same with my girlfriend, always feeling really happy around her and then feeling like crap without her. She made the above point to me not too long ago, and ever since then I've generally felt better.
Trust me you will be able to spend time with him, so don't feel lonely/sad when you aren't spending time with him.
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