A
female
age
30-35,
*ad and frustrated
writes:my husband and i have only been married almost a year and i have promblems getting him to do household chores(clean up after himself, dishes, find his own clothes, etc.). i've told him that if he couldn't start helping that i would leave, but when i actually tell him to leave i feel guilty. i'm so depressed that i don't want to come home from work anymore. i have other guys who are interested in me, but i want to make this work. it's hard and frustrating. should i continue to try to make my marriage work or after almost a year should i just give up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): i think only you truly know if its worth leaving him or not.if you were only living together and not married,i would say he is not a good match for you, considering that you like a clean house and he doesnt care one way or the other.i know its very frustrating when you come home and you cant relax becuz you have to clean up after a grown man.but i can tell you,a lot of men are like this.and since you are married,maybe you can work out some sort a compromise that will work for both of you.let him know how much this bothers you,but talk reasonably and dont yell becuz then he will feel like hes on the defense.marriage is work...my advice is work on it:)
A
female
reader, type4help  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 No I don't think you should give up,but then that's easy for me to say but it is only you who can know if it will actually work. and as for the household chores, try not to be a pushover and do it all of the time,and make him do it, drop little lines like '' if you love me,you'd do it'' their is more to life than just house chores, I'd try not to get to stressed about it. ask him stuff like ''do you like living with dirty dishes, and crumbs all in the carpet?'' maybe leave the washing up in the night and go to bed and see if he does it,may be surprised.
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