A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help! I don't know what to do. A younger ( he's 20 something, I'm 38, although I've been told I could easily pass for 30.)man began some "innocent" flirting with me a few months ago. Made some comments about valentines and how he would give me one, when I jokingly replied that I would return the favor but he shouldn't tell my hubby (he knows I'm married) he said "well what he doesn't know won't hurt him." He said this in front of several other people without batting an eye. Then there was a time he was sitting next to me and squeezed me in a bear hug with one arm spontaneously, because I laughed at how he makes so much noise when he stretches in a chair. Recently found out he had to move and I wanted to see him before he left so we met and walked around and talked for quite a while. I gave him a card and good luck charm for his keychain. I did the dumb thing of letting on how I was unhappy in my marriage, he bought me a rose from a gift shop and said I deserve to be happy. Nothing improper happened, friendly hug hello and goodbye. We talked a few times after that on the phone, he met with me to bring me a picture of himself that he said he had wanted to give me before.(I asked, so when do I get my picture? and he stopped by on his way to pick up a friend and gave it to me) I call him about once a week or 2 weeks, he's called me a few times after I've called him. Now that he's leaving he's spending a lot of time w/ his friends doing 20-something year old guy stuff, says we'll be in touch and wants to see me again before he leaves. What I need to know is, was there genuine interest on his part or was he just being friendly?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Thanks so much for the advice and listening ears! To answer the question; the butt is amazing... he's 6'1" and just got out of the military! OMG what a spin he put me in.
I'm so glad I took the advice of other friends and also all of you who so kindly took the time to respond to my question, and did NOT take it further; we spent an entire afternoon together and if I had decided to make a move, I'm sure I would be much more in agony than I'm in right now.
Thanks again!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): What you had was a friend. Nothing more. He may have had a "crush" on you but it probably wouldn't have gone any further. You're approximately 38? and he was 20? Think about what kind of relationship you would have had with him. What exactly would you have had in common with him? 20 years old, immature, deciding what to do in life, meets a nice, pretty woman and clicks with her easily. You are married, which by the sounds of it, he seemed respectful of and didn't seriously flirt with you. Think of him as a friend and maybe someone that kind of lit your fire a little. Get oriented back into reality and get your marriage figured out. My only question, did he have a cute butt? :)
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A
female
reader, sunrise  +, writes (30 May 2007):
 This is tricky, i think he genuinley cares for you and enjoys your company and the obvious flirting you both do, but not so sure he wants any kind of committment from you, i have no doubt that given the opportunity he would have slept with you,it's most young mens fantasy to sleep with the older woman, having said all that he may want it to go further but too shy to ask or scared of the embarrassment of rejection.
I think the best thing to do is not to read too much into it,you are unhappy in your marriage and are therefore vulnerable just stay friendly as you are at the moment, this way it will protect you from being hurt. If you do decide to end your marriage have some time on your own havin fun with freinds, dont rush into a relationship to escape your marriage invariably you end up walking straight into another trap. Lots of luck x
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