A
female
age
36-40,
*ealist24
writes:Alright, I have been dating a great guy for the last year and four months, unfortunately I have have a feeling that he already knows that I am not the one. First of all he has never said I love you, only that "you are my best friend" and "I care about you deeply." That is great, but I am 24 and I want to start a marriage in the next 3 to 6 years. Also, he wants to name his first born after him (to carry on a tradition making his son the **** the V.) I think that is a stupid tradition and I don't want to name my first born son **** the V, I thought of a good derivative but before I brought it up my boyfriend said that we would never have a child anyway. I have lost hope in the future of this relationship. I should leave him, right?
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male
reader, artian  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Without Prejudice.I think that if a guy has said these things to you it does not mean he does not love you if he has not said it. he might not realize it or might just be shy or maybe not sure if you love him.feelings can change opinions but they should not be forced as that can repel because of added pressure.I never wanted a child and i changed my mind, I have never wanted marriage but might change my mind.I believe a true loving relationship cannot be goal orientated. ie. marriage, child, status, material things etc. these are cultural expectations and are added pressures that divert us from the real human needs.Ie, I think when having a baby you should both want to do that when you are both ready and the same applies to marriage. otherwise, if you set yourself a target to achieve those things by a certain time you might end up with the wrong person for the sake of a title. Thus, I suggest to take your time and do things for the right reasons and when your both ready. whoever that may be with. Hope this helps. Take care.
A
male
reader, artian +, writes (9 March 2009):
I think that if a guy has said these things to you it does not mean he does not love you if he has not said it. he might not realize it or might just be shy or maybe not sure if you love him.feelings can change opinions but they should not be forced as that can repel because of added pressure.I never wanted a child and i changed my mind, I have never wanted marriage but might change my mind.I believe a true loving relationship cannot be goal orientated. ie. marriage, child, status, material things etc. these are cultural expectations and are added pressures that divert us from the real human needs.Ie, I think when having a baby you should both want to do that when you are both ready and the same applies to marriage. otherwise, if you set yourself a target to achieve those things by a certain time you might end up with the wrong person for the sake of a title. Thus, I suggest to take your time and do things for the right reasons and when your both ready. whoever that may be with. Hope this helps. Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 March 2009):
 You don't mention how YOU feel about him. I guess I'd figure that he is CLOSE to being the guy for you but no cigar. So yeah I think you should leave him but then I think you already came to that conclusion, didn't you?
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