A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my guy has been unemployed for about seven months now. he has been looking for a job but not on a consistant basis. he is still living with family. when we are together i pay for most of our entertainment. i don't feel obligated to do it but i want to be able to do things. he is always very sweet to me and i don't feel used but i just wish he would get more motivated to find a job. he has standards for which job he will take. what can i say to him constructively to help the situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (29 April 2009):
 It's not an answer, but I know how you feel, my Dad's being exactly the same way =[
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 April 2009):
You can gently hint that you want someone who can afford to do stuff with you.
Tell him that you are looking at holidays and you really fancy getting away. "Now obviously you can't go because I know you are living off savings while waiting for the perfect job. So I thought I'd go off with my girlfriends."
Start going on about long weekends with this friend, festivals with that friend.
You need to make him realise that you're off having lots of fun and you wish he could come too, but since he's being so picky, he's just going to have to sit at home and stare at the walls.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, malteser +, writes (29 April 2009):
 last month my boyfriend lost his job and i dident know what to do. I was worrid because i would have to support him and help him. But i dident have that good a wage to do that. He signed on and we got a bit of help towards the rent. I had to lend him 400.00 yesterday to put in the bank because if he dident he would get fined. I dident like the ideal of being the bread winner as if were but i felt that if i was in his situation he would do the same for me. The thing is when you lose your job it can be the most worrying and depressing thing to have to go through. I expect that your partner is worrid as well as you. If he has standards it may be because he has qualifications and wants to get a job he enjoys. I do see your point, when you need work you need to take what you can get, espically with things being the way they are. You need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. Then you can work at it together as a couple.
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