A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok...I'm feeling very upset, frustrated, confused etc. I've been with this man for a year. We have broken up several times (for an hour or two - once even for over night). No we are not young, however his not use to being in a relationship where you properly communicate, instead when things get tough he would run. Anyway. Things have been going fantastically well lately. We have grown much closer. :o) So here's my problem. A long time ago, we broke up one night. The night we split - he had his daughter for the weekend. Well his ex dropped his daughter off and he invited her to stay the night (not in his bed - or so he says). He told me about it immediately the next morning, and when he heard how upset I was - drove all the way to my house to console me and assure me that nothing happened. However I keep thinking about that night. Then just today we were looking at pictures on his computer, and some pictures of his ex and the kids (his daughter and former step son) came up (he was the one taking the picture). I asked him when he took it - he said last winter when we were together. It was when they met at the park to return his daughter to her mother. The thing is, I remember that weekend. He told me a few days later that he was talking to his ex and she told him that that day - she felt like they were a family again. I couldn't even fathom why (unless he was being touchy feely with her), until I saw the pictures today. She and the kids looked so happy smiling into the camera. It made me sooooooo uncomfie. We were not broken up then, we were very much together. A few weeks ago I was just getting to the point finally when I could ignore these uneasy feelings, and now they are back again. Any advice?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): This guy has an amazing capacity for compassion..or not. He let his ex stay over. Not smart. ----"she felt like they were a family again" Well, this is to the point I think. You know how the ex feels. His response should immediately be - after the emotional hell I went through I don't want to approach that state of mind.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
I don't think he's cheating or anything. But it sounds like you could do with some reassurance from him. Why don't you try expaining to him that you just need some reassurance from him. Unfortunately, you do need to accept her, because she is the mother of his child. Just talk to him and tell him that could do with some reassurance. Hopefully he'll listen and understand.
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