A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf in his younger days used to be involved in drugs and heavy drinking, smoking and major parties!! He basically lived by the motto, sex, drugs and rock n roll and eventually he got out of it and stopped as he got older.When I met him he didnt do drugs, he drank socially, and quit smoking..He is now 32 and when he drinks which is mostly only on weekends or functions, he bindge drinks and drinks massive amounts then when he has access to a group that does "lines".. he does it.. and he has now become a regular smoker again.Before he would only smoke when he would drink.. he'd crave the cigarette!He has become good friends with an old mate, and visits his home often and every visit there is wine involved whether its during the week or not and its not a glass its per the bottles!!! and he smokes alot now, a few a day.. and when this friend has the urge for drugs they both get into it, so seems like he is back into it!Drugs are bad like we all know and now evertime he is with this friend I wonder if hes over drinking and doing drugs.. and he knows i hate it, but still does it and it disgusts me.. then the next day he is depressed cause he did it and feels miserable, but then when he drinks again, its the whole wild cycle again.What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): I agree with the previous reply. As much as it hurts you need to remove yourself from this guy and situation, explain to him how much his behaviour is upsetting you and also damaging his health.
If he truly loves you then he will mend his ways, if not ..Then sorry but he loves his lifestyle more! You will be better rid in the long run.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): You should probably give him an ultimatum. Tell him that you really want him to seek out help with his drinking problem or you'll leave if he doesnt. Im sure that its going to be hard for you to do that but you care about him yes? I think its safe to say that you want him to be the sober man that you fell in love with and you need to make him realize that. If he truly does love you then he'll take responsibility and get the help he needs. I hope this helped and i wish you the best of luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 The problem here isnt the drugs in my eyes it is the drink, because it sounds to me he has no intention to do drugs but then he gets that drunk that he doesnt care and starts dabbling in them. He has a drink problem without a doubt and he needs to get help for it before it goes to far.
Just because he doesnt drink everyday does not mean that he doesnt have an issue with drink as he very much does, he doesnt know what his limit is and he just drinks and drinks until he is really drunk. He needs to get help and you need to make him realise this. He also needs to do it on his own. Tell him you cant put up with this behaviour anymore and that he needs to get help with his drinking. Get him to look up the local AA clinic and get him to attend. But he needs to want to do this you cant force him.
Also i no you probably wont agree with me here, but am going to tell you anyway, you need to get away from him and take a break while he is getting himself sorted as that is the only way that it will work. You need to tell him you are leaving until he gets the help that he needs and you will be back if he changed and gets the proper help. I know this will be very hard for you, but he needs to be on his own to do this and it will make him realise how much he will have lost if he doesnt get on the right track and get help. Goodluck.
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