A
female
age
26-29,
*azima
writes:I became interested in my friends best friend and I didn't talk to him much because he was always hanging around my friend. We were both getting pretty drunk and told my friend I was interested in him and I think he told him that and he started holding my hand, buying me drinks and by this point we were both smashed. We got another friend to drop me, him and the other friend back to our houses and on the way there we were making out in the back seat and getting abit sexual (he touched my breast). We dropped our friend home and the guy Im interested in jumped in the front of the car, he didn't come home with me, he didn't try but he got the hint. He didn't say bye to me either so Im assuming nothing will happen between us? didn't bother adding him on facebook since it was nothing serious..I am really interested in him but not sure if he was looking for a fling or he did actually like me back? Im not even sure if he even remembers me but I was going to ask my friend if he could get me and his best mate together perhaps but I dont want to look like an idiot if he doesnt like me that way or if he cant get me and him together, he could act awkward around me next time I see him? But I did mean it when I said I was interested.What should I do? Have never been in a situation like this before!
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Try talking to your friend and see what he has to say. I am glad he did not try and come home with you or try and have sex with you as you both where very drunk so it would not have been the smartest thing to do.
I get you are unsure what to do now, so I would talk to your friend, tell him you are still interested and ask him what does he think?
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (27 November 2016):
 Maybe he's not that interested. Or maybe he's a genuinely good guy who isn't into one-night stands, sex with "smashed" female partners, or both. I do think people, at least in my own country, are becoming more cognizant that sex with a truly intoxicated partner can result in legal consequences if that person (male or female) was too impaired to be capable of consent when the sex act took place. Do you know him as a person at all, or have you just seen him around? Have you known him to go home with random girls after nights out or does he prefer to be in a relationship with his intimate partners?
We can't know the answers to these questions (and you may not either, if he's only an acquaintance) so I truly think your best bet is to ask him - this time when both of you are sober. It doesn't sound like you see him on a regular basis as he is only a friend of a friend, so it's not like you are potentially going to ruin a longstanding platonic friendship or something by being honest and direct about your feelings. Go for it. You have nothing to lose.
Hope this helps you. Good luck and best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): I would think because alcohol was involved and you both had too much, that the whole situation is a total unknown. There could have been lots of reasons for his behaviour. Maybe he enjoyed you as a distraction just for the night? Maybe he changed his mind about getting close to you. Maybe he thought he was going to throw up and so removed himself from you by getting in the front of the car and why he didn't say goodnight. Maybe he got an erection and didn't want you to know. Another hundred more reasons that I haven't thought of. You can't control his behaviour, only yours.To allow him to do whatever he wanted with you in the back of the cab, leaves you at the mercy of whatever behaviour he wants to exhibit and leaves you wondering what it was all about. Next time, I would advise that YOU be in control of the situation. Not letting him touch you intimately straightaway etc. That way, you understand his feelings, how important you are to him and it avoids all this awkwardness. Men like women who make them work to get them. Then they see you as someone of value and treat you as such. If you're totally passive and allow them to behave as they want with you, they won't value you. You become uninteresting and too easy. He may like you, but considering he didn't even say goodbye to you, I would assume that there is no importance attached to this little fling for him and I would wait for HIM to show me otherwise. If he does start to show interest, show interest back, but not to the point that he can have physical contact with you until he has shown his feelings are rather more serious than a quick feel in the back of a cab.I'm saying this nicely, but value yourself more. Then so will he and others.
...............................
|
