A
female
age
30-35,
MissesConfused
writes:Lately, I've been finding that the majority of the things I watch or read always have pretty people ending up together, getting their happily ever after as the good guys, while ugly people either die or have some kind of unfortunate ending. So, how come the big-breasted lady with a horrible attitude always ends up with tall, dark, and hot? That doesn't seem fair at all.I'm positive that a lot of us have grown up with these same ideas and have dreamed up of our dream man/woman while others just want someone with a pulse, because we have no other real option. It's common to be uncomfortable with our bodies, and it's we probably think the mirror is probably the worst invention ever. I know I do a lot of the time.I mean, hey you've got three types of people like this. 1) You have people are just saying their ugly just to get attention and boost up their ego. 2) You have people who are beautiful but see something completely different in the mirror. and 3) There's you who's teased and tortured on a daily basis by people who think they're all that.So what? Are you bigger than others? Harry? Skinny? Acne? Sweaty? You name it, and there are good majority of people who feel the same way you do. Being that I am bigger than most girls, I can empathize with the people who feel "ugly." We look in the mirror and would rather see Jessica Simpson than our normal reflection. So, I get it completely. I mean, I don't wear make-up because it feel sticky and weird on my face, but others wear it because they hope it will somehow making them "prettier."Let me tell you a little story before I go on.About a year or two ago, two boys on my boss were making fun of me because of my weight and resorted to calling me names when I chose not to respond to them. Then, I even started crying and they still wouldn't leave me alone. Naturally, word got around and people I didn't even know were furious with these two boys and went as far to schedule a fight after school. When I asked certain stranger why they cared so much about the situation a good lot of them answer, "You say 'hello' to me and you're nice," and people I know answered, "Hey, I hadn't even noticed your size until they mentioned it. It never something I thought about it." So I learned something.And okay, it's probably something we've all heard before, but it's the truth. Don't judge a book by its cover, because you might just be surprised with what you find. It is the personality that counts, and if you have a great one, then what does it matter what other people think? If people are going to rude to you about it, they're plainly not worth your time. I mean, that's like an hour worth of watching a rerun of Seinfeld you'll never get back.The people that matter won't notice unless you point it out, and trust them. They won't care if you're slightly different from the rest of the crowd. People come in all different shapes, sizes, and personalities. So, if there are shallow little runts making you feel bad, know that you're not alone and not everybody sees the same things they do. Things in the media are going to tell you the same things, but turn around and cast some pretty thing as the big star. You have to remember to realistic, and keep in mind that it's what's behind the exterior that really counts in the end. And that goes for everything regarding friendships and relationships.*sighs* If you're one of those people who say things to get attention, I'm begging you to stop it. You're only giving others around you a complex and you'll be responsible when *they* end up in the hospital for trying to get an eating disorder. Believe me, I've seen it happen and I've been in that bed before. So just think about it the next time you only say "Ugh, I am so ..." to make yourself feel even better about yourself. If you're one of those beautiful people who think they're ugly, trust me when I tell you that's not what everybody else thinks. Do some intense soul searching. If you find that you need to make changes, be sure to not go overboard and keep it all natural. So, there's a beauty tip if you're in need of one.If you're wondering what happened to the two guys, well, I asked people to back down from the fight and call it off. They (the boys) came up to me, apologized for their behavior, and thanked me for saving their unworthy behinds. I forgave them about six months later after I finished learning something, and now we nod at each other whenever we happen to see each other.So remember, get to know somebody before you judge them and know the right people will think you're beautiful no matter what as long as you give them the *right* reasons to think so.Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
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male
reader, lowrider +, writes (1 September 2009):
I have few years on you. I am male but I sure got it in H.S. needless to say I don't think they were good years. I was a waif, perfect to get shoved into lockers etc. I withdrew into myself and was lonely. But some teachers saw I had potential as a human being and made me work really hard at so. Soon I was riding high, I was about to graduate and hopefully never see any of those people again, and so it went. Funny thing, went to my twenty-fifth reunion. Two types of people were there. The ones who still couldn't deal with me and a new group who discovered who I was. I was given the royal treatment by them, as for the other group it was smaller and some of them had become "ugly" what goes around comes around. Remember, if they can't accept you, its THEIR PROBLEM, you're fine.
A
female
reader, justme..x  +, writes (6 August 2009):
 Thank you so much for this article, you certainly made some deep points and i found it really well-written and moving.
It's what's on the inside that counts - very cliched, but so true. Thanks for stating it :] i'm sorry about your experience with people saying things, but it sounds like you grew/learned from it so well done. You could have lashed back, or let it get to you and become a victim, but you didn't. That's impressive.
So many people are unhappy with the way they look, we should perhaps appreciate what we have more. I agree that everyone is beautiful, just in different ways. Beauty just goes in fashion, and at the moment it is slim girls with neat features who are considered beautiful. And again, I agree with Samantha - looks don't last, you can change your appearance if you want to, but it shouldn't matter ... your personality is there forever. I think we should appreciate the inside more than the outside.
Thanks for writing this
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Wow, that was great. You really made some honest observations there. Just read it, and I'm kind of trying not to get all tearful, beacuse I guess this is something I feel quite strongly about.
I know what you mean about the media not helping. I actually cannot read magazines anymore, because to see all of the starving models, diet pages, "fashion" accessories, make-up tips, etc...it affects me a lot.
I'm sorry about those guys picking on you. But it sounds like everyone involved learned a lot from the experience, and grew as a result. And you're right, EVERYONE is beautiful, in some way, to someone...and it is the inner beauty that is truly important, and it will last. Everyone should take the time to try and find the beauty in all other people.
Thanks for sharing this article. x
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