A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been reading other answers about how boyfriends want a "break" or "space" and felt compelled to write about my story...i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years (we just had our 2nd anniversary 2 weeks ago. bummer) and just recently he wanted to take a break. this is how it came about. he went to my house (somewhat drunk i might add because he came from his buddies house) and we were talking about what to do that night. as i was getting ready, he looked at me and said i think we should go on a break for awhile. i stopped getting ready and my heart felt crushed. i couldnt believe he was saying this. he stayed the night and in the morning got up and just left. he just said "bye" so non-chalantly and i became sad and angry at the same time.before my boyfriend proposed a break, our relationship was not the greatest. we were fighting a lot over dumb things. and i am such an emotional person, i cry and do dramatic things, its only because im so passionate about the both of us. he's more laid back and would rather blow things over and not talk about it (which is most guys right?). plus he was stressed about work since he got a new job (he hasn't had a job in 2 years i helped him get one). He said it was hard for him to get back to the swing of things because there was so much on his plate and he wasnt used to it. i told him i thought we could work it out by talking but he said a break would be better. but he didnt angry. he always says he loves me for getting him back on his feet like with work and getting his car back. i feel like he is just stringing me around because i did all that for him. which is stupid.We made some ground rules when talking about the break. we agreed that we wouldnt have sex with other people and would just be friends for awhile. but he keeps saying things like "if you find another guy feel free to date him." Okay, that is the last thing i would ever want to do. obviously i love him and i am not looking for anybody right now. maybe he is just saying this things to see how i would react? i dont know :(it's been 2 weeks since our break, he calls me everyday to see how i am doing but its always small talk, i try to act nice and open with him but its really hard. i always feel like crying and pouring my heart out to him. but my friends made me realize that its best to let him do his thing and give him "space." ugh hate that word with a passion now! hahaAnd heres the crazy thing. he always talks about how he doesnt wanna see any girls because he still loves me. but this afternoon he calls me and tells me that he met this cool girl at work and that he's gonna watch movies at her house with some friends. then assures me that nothing is going on between them. that sounds like bullshit to me. i dont know if he is really seeing her behind my back or he's just playing more games to see how i'll react.these past 2 weeks have been hell for me. i dont like waiting but i feel like its all i can do. i asked him how long he wanted the break to be and he just said "till i get focused on everything, then we'll see." how confusing is that? does he wanna be with me? is just a soft blow because he doesnt wanna come out and break up with me?he assures me that he loves me a lot and misses me when he calls me, but its hard to believe it when he asked for a break.i am so confused. did somebody have this happen to them too and have any advice? this is the worse feeling in the world :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): He doesn't want to be with you. He's already encouraged you to date a new guy if you meet one you might like. And he's dating a girl at work, who he's interested in. In fact, he was probably interested in her from the very start.
I know it feels painful right now, but this guy honestly isn't worth your time, effort or tears. He did a chicken thing, by telling you he just needed space instead of being honest. He got things he needed from you (job, car), and now it sounds like he's done.
Chalk this one up as a loss, focus on making yourself a more successful person, and ignore his phone calls. If he cared about you, he'd still be with you, not demanding space out of the blue, when he's drunk.
You can definitely do better, and you'll find that you're much happier with better.
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