A
male
age
30-35,
*oggled20
writes:Typical I'm in love with my best friend scenario. She was dating this player type guy until recently. The guy had been in well over 20 "relationships" if you could call them that, and had always broken them off, he had never been broken up with. My friend and him dated for about 2 months and she broke up with him because she doesn't have time for a relationship at the moment with some things in her life. What worries me is he's not over it just yet. Every other time he ended a relationship he was over it fast, and would just ask the nearest plastic girl out, and they'd go on one date and he'd break up with her. Is he really into my friend? Because what I'm really afraid of is that when she gets more time for a relationship she may want him back...if he's not over her by then he'd be happy to oblige and they'd be the horribly unhappy awkward couple that never goes out, never stop be to see each other at different times during the day, the couple that pains me to see, because they're not held together by bonds, just crushes... Basically I wanna know if he might pursue her like I have the past 2 or so years. Sunday (Vday) I'm going to remind her how I feel, I wrote her a poem, and I want to let her know whenever she wants a relationship again I'll be waiting...If he gets over her I can keep trying to win her heart. She claims there's something there, in terms of her having feelings for me but she's a little unsure. What do you guys think? (Sorry it's so long)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): typical situation calls for a typical answer: Find another girl.
You won't get this girl by making it clear how totally infatuated you are with her. That's Hollywood bullshit. You need to get LESS interested in her. Or at least a lot less patient about it. Let her know you want her but don't make her think you're gonna be standing around waiting for her any time she wants. Start messing with other girls and get on with your life.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Dear Boggled 20
I am going to assume that this guy looks amazing and is someone no one can physically compete with in looks and what not?
If so, then you have got to use your brain to convince her that you truely have romantic feelings for her. Her confidence in how much she knows she wants to commit to you will depend upon her confidence in how much she knows YOU want to commit to her.
You cannot do something cliche like a poem. Action speaks louder than words. You are her best friend. You are there with her for a reason. Show her that you are the man that she wants to be with. Show her that you can do more than write a poem.
You LOVE her.
I had a slight infatuation for this beautiful dancer that I met while doing security for a club. I could tell there was something up with her. I see her walking by herself to her car and she is arguing with two guys. I go up there and stay by her side as she is doing this, just to make sure nothing happens. I then walked her to her car and she started telling me about her problems with her boyfriend. I proceeded to get them to break up. She also told me about how she was "attacked by a random stranger in the parking lot the night before" which is why she has bruises on her body, aka, her boyfriend (my boss at the time) beat her up.
What I did- I got the cops to patrol the 3 parking lots on the board walk by hounding them for days.
The other thing i did that applies to your situation the most of the two would be, I told her what I thought of her.
I told her, "You are a beautiful, intelligent, and amazing person that has a whole lot more potential than my boss. You could have anyone you wanted and you never have to settle, because you are a great catch. Anyone would be lucky to date someone like you."
She really took that to heart. If this woman is your best friend and you love her, you would be able to say and do much more than what I did with some girl that I knew for about 3 weeks. I am just pointing out basic characteristics of her personalityand that she was gorgeous.
Think about what you want to say. Stick out. Do not be cliche. Your heart is in the right place, but you gotta do more than that.
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