A
female
age
,
*lle_x
writes:Two years ago I started a relationship with a man a worked with who I thought I knew. I really, really admired this guy professionally and when he asked me on a date I was over the moon. Within a couple of months he moved in to live with me. I dont know what went wrong, but when he moved out eight months later he told me the relationship was over. Within a week of leaving he was back in my life, telling me he loved me and did not want to lose me, that he just wanted some time to himself to sort his head out. That was a year ago. During the last year he has kept in touch, coming round no more that once a week, but often going several weeks without seeing me. He has promised me everything - from moving back in, to a holiday, to introducing me to his friends - but has failed to deliver on everything. The problem is that because I still love him I want to believe what he is telling me, even though I have often found out that he has told me lies. The more promises he breaks and lies he tells me, the weaker I feel emotionally. I very much want a future with him, but know that it would break me into pieces if I wait much longer and he goes off with somebody else.
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reader, elle_x +, writes (24 August 2008):
elle_x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response. You are very astute and have picked up on things that I did not even mention in question (he and his wife are seperated, but he wants to move back in for the sake of the kids and he now lives with his parents who live a couple of houses down the street from her). Your advice is sound and I have drawn some strength from it. Thank you.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 August 2008):
 There is no 'future' with him. And he displays all the signs of a married guy! But thats just going on what you have put there in your question. You know deep down you are heading for heartbreak dont you anyway.And its soul destroying when someone lies to you and just keeps on letting you down. I expect at some point we have all been there. But you really need to get some control here and trust those instincts that are telling you that he's a bad egg.I didn't trust my instincts when they were telling me what yours are, and i got used basically. All this friendship crap will ground to a halt once he meets someone else and you will be left high and dry i can assure you.The guy has a lot of issues that you didn't find out about until you dated him. You did all the right things by getting to know someone first through work etc, he obviously is very good at keeping things to himself and everyone thinks he's great i expect, even you did when you first knew him.But you deserve better for a relationship dont you.It will be way better for you to tell the guy to sling his hook now, than let him pop round when he's nothing better to do and eventually find some fresh meat and cut you off just like that.The choice is yours, but i know what i would do if i could turn the clock back when i was in your situation.Good luck.C xxx
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