A
male
age
30-35,
*ed Boy
writes:I have gone on many websites asking for advice and I hope I can find the right answers here. Ok here it goes...I think my friend's girlfriend likes me. She's really nice to me, nicer to me than she is my other friends and she smiles at me alot when I mimic her and when she greets me. It's hard to explain but it's just something about the way she acts around me. Maybe it's just me but the other night I could've sworn I heard her boyfriend(my friend) say that she wishes she could kiss me when he was sitting next to me. I could've heard that wrong but I don't know. She's also come up to me smiling asking me if I'm a virgin the same way she did when she first started dating my friend. Then there's the smiles and her attitude towards me. I wanna add that I never flirt with her or anything. I don't even think about flirting with her or making a move I just wanna know, do you think she likes me or is she just being nice?My other problem is that now I realize I have a huge crush on her. A crush with me is like a nightmare, I can't get any sleep. I never know why I get a crush on anybody. I don't know why I have a crush on her exactly. All I know is that once I have a crush on a girl it's that girl and I can't even think about another one, plus even if that did work that would just be the same thing over again but with a different girl. These crushes I get can last a long time, but since I actually know this girl and I am closer to this girl more than any of the other ones, this could last for months. I've only had a crush like this twice before and I didn't know why then either. I thought about the girls for a long time though and it bothered me alot. This time I have a crush on a girl who happens to be my friend and my other friend's girlfriend. I keep having dreams about her and now I can't stop thinking about her during the day and especially at night. When I try to sleep all I can think of is her and nothing else. It keeps me up the whole night(Please don't suggest sleeping pills because those don't work on me and it wouldn't help me during the day at all if they did work)I can't tell either of them because I don't know how they will react to it. He might get mad at me and not want to be friends thinking I wanna take his girl and I really don't. She might get mad and do the same, or if she does like me, then it would create a whole new problem and i don't want that. However, keeping quiet about it and not telling them is driving me crazy! Please help me, what do I do?
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male
reader, Red Boy +, writes (15 April 2010):
Red Boy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention that I do have a girlfriend. I do love my girlfriend and we've practically been together for 3 years. She can be hard to deal with but I love her. Anyway, this girl I have a crush on, I don't know what the reason is. It's not that I like her because you can't like a person you barely know. I know her but it's not like we sat down getting to each other better or anything. So I can't like her, I like her as my friend cuz she's a good friend but that's it. I think she likes me though but i'm not sure. Plus I have a huge crush on her which yes you can say it's intense. I've had them before but never like this.
A
female
reader, HeidiK17  +, writes (15 April 2010):
Forbidden fruit is all the more tempting, and dangerous - keep well clear. Can you hang around with some other friends for a while so you don't see her. She could be just being nice or flirting with you - either way she's with your mate and that is a big no no.
What concerns me more with your question is how you have such extreme crushes on girls but you don't say youve had a relationship. Didn't you ask any of the other girls out? Getting a girlfriend of your own would be the best thing for you to do. Don't bother fantisising about people, they are never the wonderful person you imagined them to be.
You need to distract your mind to get to sleep. Find a affirmation (a positive statement about yourself) and keep repeating it over and over in your head. Don't let your head deviate from the statement. Always works for me. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, StephanieLOL +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Well, what you see to be 'flirting' could be 'just being nice' to someone else. So, it's hard to say.
If you like her, tell her, you may loose your friend over it, but it's better to say, then keep it bottled up, as I found out. So, don't find it out the hard way. Just tell your friend... or sit down with her and tell her. You never know what could happen...
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Liking someone, having a crush, isn't supposed to be a torturous experience that completely destroys a person's life for an indeterminate period of time. Its supposed to be fun, enjoyable, nice. Maybe you should try to enjoy your feelings for her, instead of feeling like this crush is a disease you are suffering from. Allow yourself to fantasize about her, flirt a little (you're young, they aren't married, flirting is FINE), be nothing but happy when she smiles at your jokes. I know crushes can be intense, but maybe its so awful because you are fighting it. Just embrace it, and try not to take yourself so seriously.
If you can't talk to him or her about it, try talking to other mutual friends who have observed the situation. Maybe someone who has seen you interact with her can tell you more objectively if they think she likes you or not. Seeing as how you have such a huge crush, you might not be able to really trust your own opinion about how she feels towards you, since you certainly want her to like you (even if you can't admit that). Maybe she has said things to other people about her feelings towards you. Or, also you mentioned you think her boyfriend told someone that she wanted to kiss you (which doesn't sound real, unfortunately, because I don't think that a girl would admit to her boyfriend that she wanted to kiss another guy), but whoever her boyfriend told that to, ask that person about it.
Overall though, I think the best thing you can do is embrace your feelings for her, and let things happen. Don't be overly concerned about stealing this girl, or breaking social rules. You are young, people break up and get together a lot, people like each other's boyfriends and girlfriends...its all normal. Its not "evil" to like someone, and maybe at the very least, if you indulge your feelings a bit, you will be able to become good friends with this girl. Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, jessicalove +, writes (15 April 2010):
 well ok at first i think you should think of how much a friend he is to you and if you would ever risk hurting him, then as for the girl well sure it could be that she is just being friendly but that normally counts on the way she is in general if she is very confortable with guys and hugs guys as a greeting as apose to waving then it is more likely she is just being friendly and finds you cool to hang out with but it she waves to other guys and ignores them after words then its more likely she is attracted to you.
if thats the case and you really believe this may work out well id suggest you try and found out exactly what she means to your friend as him questions like, "hey dude hows it going with your gf so you think shes the one for you?" as ke him questions like that but dont ask to much coz he will get suspicious but if it seems that he likes her alot i would advice you dont blow the bomb shell on him.
as for the girl if you wanna make certain shes happy with your friend, ask her questions like "so is everything cool with you and (friends name)... pause and look at her reaction if she suddenly looks down or her face goes serious or unsure that means she is having second thoughts of something so possibly coz she likes you and that reaction would most likely come with a smile then u can add a joke to it just so she wont feel akward.
but if she does react to that question then you should becareful because if she does like you then this could ruin your relationship with your friend and if his a good friend thats something you wouldnt want to do and as for the dreams of her well that happens and it is annoying try taking hot milk with horliks or some other milk sweetner in it watching cartoons before going sleep can help to... hope i helped
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