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anonymous
writes: Hi This may sound strange, I'm with this guy and have been for 10 months. I am 18. We are engaged. Not that we want to get married in the next like 5 years. "Engagement" means committing to us. I've had similar relationships of this length and this feels so different and so much better and so special. But this isn't the problem. I've had a couple of false pregnancy scares. And before I knew whether or not I was pregnant I secretly wished I was. The thing is, I'm going to uni this year and I don't want my parents to be ashamed of me. Sometimes I wish I was pregnant. I want the feeling. I know my fiancee would make an amazing dad. But I don't think he would want kids just now, even though he has told me he would love to have my children in the future. I'm also scared that if I do get pregnant I'll just have to have it, because the 2 scares have made me look closely at abortion and I don't know if I could go through with it, because it would be a little bit of me and him. A little life inside me. I just want to know if any women felt like this at my age or knows how hard it is to want a baby when it just isn't practical? Can I stop thinking like this? It's driving me mad. Please help me.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): I know how you feel, i'm 19 and i had a scare last week. I told my boyfriend of 10 months straight away. He was very supportive and if i was it would be good news. He was then talking to me about what he/she would look like.. etc I found out i wasn't and ever since i want a baby sooo badly. I've always wanted one but now that my boyfriend is ok about it, my feelings have changed more towards it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): Yes i know how you feel i just lost my virginaty 2 days ago and im only 14 (todays dates 7/04/08) and im not sure if im pregnant but i really want it but i think twice about my familys reaction and my boyfriends reaction and my education for me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months and i really love him but to think about me being pregnant im teribbly scared:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): Before having a baby you need to be strong and patience,everything will be complicated at your age not ready yet,think about the financial u need to invest for having a baby is not easy lots things to thinks if you have a baby the needs of your baby is difficult,unfortunately you are not stable,when u are ready be stable,financially,better get an abortion if you are pregnant now.. is not a shame when u cannot afford the needs of your baby,much better.. when u are ready everything then plan to have a baby.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): I turn 20 next week and have been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years, we're just trying to save up for our engagement. I want a baby soo bad right now and know exactly what you're going through. Just today he kind of snipped at me because I talk about it all the time and he gets rather annoyed sometimes. We've already talked about how many kids we want to have and even have their names picked out, but because I won't be finished with school for another year and a half, and he has to start work, he says there's no reason to want a baby right now because we're in no position to afford one. This is so depressing because all I want to do is be a mom. And my boyfriend will make the most amazing dad, but it's just not the right time, which kills me. So I completely understand your feelings. When I was a senior in high school I had a bad pregnancy scare and I kept thinking about how it wouldn't be that bad, how we'd both be amazing parents and it would be special. But, lately, the last 4 months every time my time of the month comes around I too secretly hope it won't, so I can get a test and see if I'm pregnant. I've only taken 4 pregnancy tests the whole time I've been with my boyfriend, but the last 2, that three minute wait period I'm all smiles. Of course my boyfriend is never around when I take it, but secretly I wanna know what it would be like that moment you find out your pregnant. That second when you find out there's a little potential life inside of you.
Every time I see baby clothes I still get emotional, so I havn't even gotten my mind off of a baby yet, but I don't think I'll be able to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): hey, I have been with my man for almost two years and we are now engaged and live together . I am 20 years old and feel the same way. How ever I have a place with my man and we practically are doing it on our own.I have already told him how I want a child and he also wants one...I dunno..you have to be in the right situation. As far as your situation. Just hold on and if it happens then it happens but be prepared to step up to the plate!!!
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female
reader, mazza83  +, writes (5 June 2008):
I had my first child at a young age when i was defently not ready, then i met someone who i thought was great and we had a baby together. I would never class having my kids as a mistake but i know if i had waited i would have been more ready and able to cope, and there would only have been happy memories although i think i have done well there was bad times. luckily me and my now three kids are happy i am working full time and can give the kids all they need. Just feel ready when you start trying and its a million times better, Exspecially if its what you both wont.
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female
reader, 19 year old girl +, writes (5 May 2008):
hi i know exactly how your feelin coz i feel the same way.
ive been with my boyfriend for 6 years and were engaged.i really want a baby too.the thing is its all i keep thinkin bout but i dont think my fiance is ready. i had a scare the other day and was hopin i was pregnant but i wasnt. i know this may sound selfish but i was gutted. i jus need to get this out as i have kept these feelings to myself and jus dont know how to tell him how i feel. i know he will make a great dad so there isnt only you feelin this way, alot of us women go through it
GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE KEEP ME FILLED IN X X X
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): I know how you All feel.
I have gone through a few scares in the last few years
and one accualy came true but i wasn't able to keep it due to medical issues.
Confusing thing is I am gonig through a scare right now and i don't know what to think if i really am pregnant.
I want a baby so bad after gonig through all this
but I don't know if I am ready to be a mother at this young of age.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): I have felt like for a long period of time. I found out that I was pregnant after I ended a relationship with a guy (Jason). I left my boyfriend of 4 years for this guy and I realized it was mistake. I got back with the 4 year boyfriend, Phil, and then I found out i was pregnant. I told both guys but I decided to have an abortion because I didn't want to be tied to Jason forever and I didn't want to devastate my new found relationship with Phil...I realized i wanted to be with him forever. Phil said that he would be with me and help with the baby. I knew it wasn't what I wanted for any involved. Anyway I can relate and now when my period is late I wish that I can be pregnant because there is such a feeling of loss and regret. My baby would be a year old this month.I think that you should wait until it is the best time ever...I got a puppy! It worked for me to a certain degree. I treat him like an infant! When you are able to have babies it will be more special then if you rush it and are not ready! Hope this helped
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Hi,
I know pretty much how everybody on this page feels right now. Im currently going trough a pregnancy scare and i am very confused about what exactly I want. I am also 18 and have got that feling of need but I canot face my boyfriend who I have now bein with for a year and a half about all thease feelings. Ifeel a lot better now after reading all of this because now I can also see it is normal, and only you can controll it. Thanx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): hi, i have been with my boyfriend for four years i am 19 and we are engaged we have both just finished our first year at uni and have been living together alone for a year and i was basically living at his parents with him for about 2 years. I have exactly the same feeling u have and i have always remembered having it, but recently it has been worse i hate it i really really want a child and i dnt need to be told by ne one else its a 24/7 blah blah job i know wot it entails, i know its not the right time and that upsets me ive got another 3 yrs until i finish uni, getting married in just under 2 yrs :) and then ill be going into a graduate job which is normally about 2 yrs of training although i think ill be entitled to maternity in graduate job. But i know how u feel i think if i wasnt doing a sandwhich degree it would be possibility because u can time things for holidays and u get free childcare at the uni, (also not really in that often), but doing a sandwhich degree i would be unable as ill have to work for a year, and will be living back at fiances parents during that year.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): I know how you feel. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are commited to eachother. He is 23 and I am almost 19. I have always known I would want to be a mom someday. My best friend was pregnant and got an abortion because she couldnt take care of a baby in this stage of her life. Since then I have been thinking non stop about having a baby. I feel the same as you, I wanted to know if its normal to want to be a mommy so young. I thought I was pregnant a few times and secretly wished I was but I wasnt. I know I am too young and niether me or my boyfriend have great jobs or can afford an apartment so I know we couldnt possibly have a baby right now. Hopefully I can wait two or three years and get married and for my boyfriend to have a steady well paying job before I get pregnant. I know I have to wait but I really dont want to.
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reader, TwistedIllusions +, writes (20 June 2006):
 i am 18 and want a baby badly also i just think that i have a little time to wait before it happens. i want it to happen now though lol if you want to talk im here
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reader, Heavens7thstar +, writes (16 June 2006):
Well Im almost 21 & sorta in the same situation. Im not engaged or promised but My boyfriend & I are very commited. I am going through a pregnancy scare at the moment and I really want a baby as well but is is not pratical at all. Neither one of us have jobs and Im in college. So You aren't the only one out there who wants a baby at such a young age. But I've realized that good things come to those who wait. So If Im not pregnant now I'm going to take very much caution and I think you should do the same. In time god will let you know when it's time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): oh my goodness can you believe im going through almost the same thing i dream about having the baby and how good it might be but then i got scared that after it was positive it became negative, part of me wanted it to be positive and now i cant get over the feeling that i thought about aborting my baby....its like i was falling in love with someone i didnt even know yet and now i dont know what to feel . i am also 18 years old.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (27 March 2005):
 I understand how you feel and it is perfectly natural to feel the way you do. You feel you have met the right one, you are committed to him so the natural progression of things is to want to have children with him. You also know that if you did actually get pregnant, you wouldn't feel able to have a termination.Other women do and have felt like this. It is a combination of hormones telling you one thing as well as your mind going in a similiar direction but the practical side of things warning you that despite everything, this isn't the right time.Does your fiance know how you feel? You could tell him that after the pregnancy scares it has made you look closely at the situation and made you feel as if you would love to have children but you realise that it is rather soon and that you are young. Just that you can't help how you feel.To come from the more practical side of things, I'm not saying that if you did get pregnant, your fiance wouldn't stand by you or that you wouldn't make a fantastic mother and your parents would also come round when they saw how happy you were but you do need to err on the side of caution. It isn't just because you are very young, it is also because you haven't been with your partner very long and also because I'm assuming you do want to go to university that makes it an uncertain time to have a baby. Your longing for a child will diminsih if you remind yourself that you need a little bit more time with life before you make that ultimate committment. Don't forget (I'm sure you haven't) that babyies require 24 hour care, think of the sleepless nights, constant nappy changing,throwing up etc, etc. It is the hardest job ever!It is best to wait until the future is more certain.Distract yourself by going out and enjoying yourself with your fiance and remembering that you can because you are still young without such ties. Look forward to going to uni, think of all that you are hoping to achieve. Discuss with your fiance how you feel and see what he says and remember it isn't a case of never saying never, just not right now. Use protection so that you aren't in the position to have to consider an abortion as you don't want to do this. Remember you have plenty of time and enjoy life to the fullest.I do hope this helps.
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