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anonymous
writes: Need advice on what to do about my partner. We were both with other people when we met 6 months ago, but we decided to rent a place together while we sorted everything out. I moved in with my 2 small children and he came for a week and then moved out as hadn't cleared his emotional baggage. He moved back in after 6 weeks, then left again a few days later as he couldn't do the full time dad thing; he thought he could but the reality was too hard! His ex-partner still hasn't moved out of his previous house (where he has gone back to), and neither did he bring any furniture etc when he moved in.Since then he's been in contact but is emotionally distant and hasn't discussed yet if or how we have a future etc - I am a complete emotional wreck (obviously!!) - do I give him space or am I being a complete fool for even waiting around to find out? Are there any men out there that can explain where he's coming from?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 March 2005):
 Well, I'm not a man but I hope I can help a little!!I don't think he knows what he wants and he is simply keeping you hanging indefinitely till he works it out. He has got you on a string. He knows you are there waiting for him and this isn't fair. He shouldn't play with someone's emotions while his are so mixed up.For all you know, he could be trying to make it work with his ex partner. Have you tried asking him exactly what he wants? Rather than issuing an ultimatum, I think the time has come for you to say to him that you intend to move on with your life as you feel it isn't fair for you to be in limbo like this.Does his ex partner know you exist? If she does, she can't be feeling too happy about this situation either. He isn't being fair on either of you. His emotional distance is indicative of a man who does not know what he wants.Give him space by telling him you have decided to try pastures new, you aren't going to wait anymore and live in hope. I know this is hard but it will either prompt a reaction or not. At the end of the day, do you really want a man who can't make his mind up and who may not be trustworthy? The ball is in your court, use it.Good luck.
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