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As much as I love my partner, I've begun to feel physically ill during sex...

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

Hi, for a while now I have been losing my sexual urges, but don't want to make my partner of 10 yrs think it's anything to do with him.

Sometimes during intercourse Ii actually feel physically sick or as if I'm having a panic attack - and have to force myself to do neither. I find too that when having foreplay (using fingers) Ii quite often ask if his nails need cutting, but they never do, yet it feels a little uncomfortable.

Then during intercourse - I don't seem to have any sensation at all, so I just 'fake it' as I don't want to hurt my man's feelings/pride etc. Directly after sex I feel sick again and go for a wash and discover everytime that my vulva area has swollen - even inside and around my urethra area. It feels really horrible, I was even contemplating becoming celebate!!

I love my partner and do still find him attractive - so I know the problem has to be me. Do you think it possivle that i could have some kind of infection? I am on medication which says could affect your sex drive, but I've seen nothing about the feeling neausious, swellings etc..

I hope you can enlighten me as I would feel a bit odd discussing it with my GP. Many thanks

View related questions: foreplay, sex drive

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 March 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntI would certainly suggest visiting the doctor. The swelling and the sensitivity seem indicative of an infection that needs to be investigated.

The medication that you are on you say affects your sex drive but because you are experiencing discomfort, you can also start to feel other symptoms.

It could be that you have a hormonal imbalance that could be checked and this could account for many of the feelings you are experiencing.

Psychologically, you are beginning to withdraw but that is because you are associating sex with pain and discomfort and lack of enjoyment. You mention you still find your partner attractive so it seems unlikely that it is linked to him or your relationship. However, if there are issues within your relationship that aren't being addressed, sometimes this can be displayed within your sex life. Is your partner aware of some of your discomfort? I think it would be wise to enlighten him as he may have noticed that you aren't comfortable.

Go to the doctors and explain these symptoms. If you have an infection, this can be sorted and then if there are other issues within your relationship that may be causing some of the feelings of panic and nausea when you are having sex, these can then be isolated and addressed by talking to your partner and/or seeing a therapist.

I do hope this helps.

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