A
male
age
,
*onnybee
writes:Hi,Two people that love each other with all of their heart and never cheated on each other, and still haven't to this day...here is a bit of my situation. I've been with my girlfriend for the past 5 years and in the last 3 years we broke up 5 times, 3 of those were because of her daughter, which is now 16, and she would tell her mother off, and like her mother told me not to get involved which i shouldn't but i felt that this was way to hard to accept - the way her daughter was acting with us...and the last times way little things I think that we probably could've past on...and after we went back together in became ok with her but we had another problem, but here it is.She loves me with all of her heart , "BUT SHE WILL NEVER MOVE WITH ME AGAIN" meaning living together... so now my things are that I also love her with all my heart and "I WANT TO LIVE WITH HER OR SOMEONE ELSE" 'cause i don't want to spend the rest of my life in my appt. alone and just date. The problem here is that she says "NEVER" and I say "I WANT TO LIVE WITH HER". So 2 months ago we talked in the afternoon and she told me the NEVER again and i just panic at her and I TOLD HER i don't want to spend the rest of my life living alone... and dating ... I need someone with me ...Were both really hurt, and she told me to move on as she is trying to also... but we see each other a lot because its a small town and we both know whats going on with our lives... I need HELP" PLEASE SOMEONE I'm all torn inside out, and I'm usually a very good person and social too...Thank you in advance for any advice! Ron
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): In this relationship, kids can be big problem and very sensitive. In this case your girl friend as a mother of teenager. I think she is in big dilemma ( as I feel now I as a mother for 2 kids ) and I cannot make a next step with my relationship before I make sure if my sons could receive I with someone. Because can be serious problem in between.
If you love her, you cannot push her to be with you in this situation will be hard for her.
Is hard to be alone as you said but for her if she with you may be harder situation for her and for both of you.
SOmetimes we cannot plan as we need
Good luck Ron hope you could figure out your problem each other do it patiently, give her time
Helsinki
with peace
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Hi Ron,
I think that if your G/F is going to let a 16 year old tell her what she can and cant do in her life, she will live to regret it. Having said that, she must find this out on her own (which she will).
Children can be really awkward in new relationships, and not want a new step parent in the house, so you must give her more time. Dont put any pressure on her for you to live together, this will only push her away, and make her feel like she has to choose, between you and her child.
The child will grow up in a couple of years and not care who her mum lives with. She will also have more respect for you, for not pulling her mum away from her.
I know this seems like a long way off for you. But if you really love this lady! isn't she worth the wait?.
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A
male
reader, Ronnybee +, writes (21 April 2008):
Ronnybee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, again, I do understand some of you , about me telling her that i didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone and date...and I understand now it was wrong for me to put some ultimatum on her this way ,just to move back with her, I just didn't see it like this ...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REPLY ! and that i agree that I might've insulted her...Now I will work on how to accept whatever someone gives me and appreciat it ... and also work on myself, and show her that I do have plenty to offer... your right! THANKS AGAIN APPRECIAT IT , to who ever answered me ...Ron
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A
male
reader, Ronnybee +, writes (21 April 2008):
Ronnybee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry, but i'm just not only looking to have someone just in my life for sex as to me there is more important things in life than that...and i certainly don't just want someone just to not be alone, she also told me that if she did a mistake by letting me go that she would find me no matter what or where I would be! we both love each other deeply, it's a complicated story... but she's the one that i love for what she is and the same goes for her, that i already know! , I also know that I should just leave her alone and not letting her know anything about me and just move on, and maybe some day , we might meet again who knows and she already told me these thing.My question again is ? is it worth for me to have some HOPE on maybe she would come back some day or I should close up the door completly ... but this hurts me too much to do so... I always told her the door to my heart will always be open for her if she ever wants it back...I don't know anymore what to think...sorry! I'm completly confused...Ron
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Hi
She knows deep down she's not 'special' just someone to stop you being 'alone' as you put it.
I get on real well with my ex and he would love us to get back together, but i know deep down, from when we were together, thats because he misses being with someone, but anyone, having someone to do things for him and the sex, even though he cant even see it himself (maybe you cant either) and us women know we are worth more than that.
You guys like that are fine as mates, but nothing more.
You have to accept that you cant quite give her what she probably wants in life, like most women do...someone that wants us because of us, and no other reason.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): She is torn between her daughter and you. Its very difficult to move in with someone and leave the 16 year old behind or complicate her childs life. I think you should be a bit more understanding about that. In saying that, she has to make the choice final because she is either with you for the long-run in which case she stands up against the daughter and commits to you fully.
Don't be too quick to issue ultimatums... sometimes situations are not so black and white and if you love her the way you say you do you would be prepared to make some sacrifices. Good luck
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