A
female
age
36-40,
*anadianGirl24
writes:Strange as it is, tonight I found myself "googleing" the question how to choose between two men... My story is this, long and confusing...I'm a 24 year old mother, six months ago I left a man I spent three years with, a very rocky up and down relationship.. I just ended it one day and never looked back.. at this time I have been seperated from my ex Mark, who is my childrens father for 5 years.. we had remained close friends, a lot of ups and downs as well... 'mark' had a short marriage after we split up, and then went into another relationship.. I myself had a short relationship, and then an engagement (3 year - rocky guy) ... Anyway, there has always been something between Mark and I, but he isn't the perfect type.. he's always been important to me, and I have been him, but we've always had disagreements and have moved on.. we both are wonderful parents and share our children 50/50... after I split with my guy, I met another.. Derek, Derek is the calmest, most sensible man I have ever dated or been invovled with. For the past 6 months Mark has been non-stop with texting, emails, literally begging me to give him a chance.. I resisted a lot at first, thinking this was too crazy and would never work, so I progressed in my relationship with derek.. derek spent a lot of time away for work, but we grew very close. he is now home and has been for some time, and I can't help but question everything.. I find myself in love with both men and don't know who to choose.. with Mark there is the history, but there has been trust issues in the past.. in defence of that, it was a long time ago, and we were both very young at the time.. I am now 24 and he is 28, derek is 30. I know derek loves me, as I do him,, but I also think my lifestyle and his arent alike.. he hsa now children and just kinda came into my life with two, a dog and a cat! I'm not sure how he feels about it all, but I don't doubt that he loves us and wants to be with us. I know he is sincere and honest, upfront and straightforward with everything. I feel as if I stay with him I wont have to worry about any drama, but I feel like I should give Mark the chance, cause theres always been that something there, I can't seem to let go, and our children are important, as much to me as they are him. Please help, I've been struggling with this for months now, I've gained 15 lbs, fell behind in college and just totally feel confused!Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): its not fair that you brought emotional baggage to your other relationships which is prob why they havent worked. you cant start a new relationship if you're still in love with the last one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): Mark.
The history will always be there, and no matter what you seem to do, he's like one of those guys you can never get out of your mind...Derek might be sensible and great, but its clear that Mark and you have this "thing"...this history, this past, this connection....and he's the father of your children!! Thats such an important reason. He's a good father, and your children deserve to be with their father than with any other man. If Mark was a lousy, abusive dad, then it wud have been otherwise, but he's not. You two should start again from the beginning...give yourselves a chance. Sure there have been some bumps along the way, but thats life, isint it? And he WANTS to get back...its not like you're forcing him to.
Go for it...for yourselves and your children. All the best!!
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl  +, writes (25 September 2010):
iw ould stick with the father of my children. point blank reason being in the future you will avoid TENSION! if you get with the non-father the FATHER will always be in the picture and you and the non-father will have issues...! make sense?! you ar 24 and have kids?! get it together NOW before SOME GIRL is posting about how SHE LOVES DEREK AND MARK and YOU are the other woman! marry one of them! DO IT its a BIG deal and its better now bc when you get older you cant keep dating, your kids need to see a promising relationship not a confused one.
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