A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am confused. I need to choose between two men. This is not an easy decision. My husband has been out of the country for 2 1/2 years and I haven't seen him in one year.Over time we have lost communication(more on his part I would talk and talk and he wouldn't say hardly anything.) Since Jan 2010 neither of us have said I love you, in fact I felt like it was over and in June 2010 I told him that. He then all of a sudden says he loves me and is sorry for not communicating and has really been trying to talk to me and communicate now by phone. But I feel like it is too late. In Jan 2010, I reconnected with someone that I knew 15 years ago. The connection was so natural and we hit it off great. He provided all the emotional support that I needed. We can talk about anything and it felt like we had never lost contact and have been together forever even though we have only been together 6 months. We talk most everyday, either by phone,messenger, e-mail or in person. When I am with him and talk to him it just feels so right. We are really serious about each other, but there are a few things that have happened this week that will make our life really hard if we stay together. Some legal issues that will make life tougher for him and for me if I stay with him. I have been going back and forth all week on whether I should give my husband a second chance even though I don't really feel in love with him, or should I go with the guy that I love even though he isn't my husband and there are some tough issues to deal with before him and I could be together forever and those issues will stay with us forever. But I really believe in him and love him and want to stay by his side. Is it better to stay with, my husband that I don't love and have no idea when he will be back, could be another 6 months or more or to stay with the man that is here and that I love but there are some tough legal issues to face? Both men tell me they love me and both men say they don't want to lose me. Head or Heart which should I go with?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): My frank advice will be 1) You can not and should not just cheat on your husband who is away on work for some time.2) There are many options - you can go to your husband's place. or you can talk to him about it.3) I feel the problem is that you yourself have connected with your ex and now you are trying to think what you need to do. Basically you are betraying the trust of your husband. If answer do not matter to you then pl do not ask question here. if you it matters then given them due thoughts. Do not use forum to get approvals on the the sins that you are doing.
A
female
reader, SallyDeez +, writes (31 July 2010):
Legal issues? That's very broad. Legal issues can mean something stupid or something serious that needs to be taken into consideration.Is your husband in the military? Is that why he's gone?I can't say how many times I've seen people "lose communication" and then suddenly reappearing with the "I miss you"s and the "I love you"s. That is usually a tell tale sign of him having an affair(s) and them going sour... Him then remembering you, and then feeling guilty and/or lonely. You should confront him about his... lack of communication and curious change of heart.Nobody can blame you for you getting involved with someone else under such circumstances. Blind loyalty to your uncommunicative husband will grant you nothing. You must really consider this other guy's "legal issues" though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): always go with what your head is telling you as it is guided by your heart anyway..if it is not over with your husband you should not be getting into another relationship - it is over when it is over...take one relatonship at a time or else you will end up in a mess....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): I would go with your husband to be honest. Sometimes it takes losing someone to realize what u had. I'm pretty sure your husband will gain your trust and love again if you were together agian
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A
female
reader, nadi  +, writes (31 July 2010):
I think you should go for the guy that you honestly feel that you would be happy with. I know waiting for someone is hard but (i ve gone through this for a couple monhts)I feel if you really love someone you dont care how long it will take for them to come back, because to you its worth it.Your husband really messed up in not telling you he loves you and stuff. but also dont feel likr that other guy is someone thats made you feel happy because im guessing you were probably sad about your husband and you were probably in that vulnarable state. At the end you need to choose with your heart and not your head.you never know maybe as soon as your husband gets back all your emotions for him will come up and you'll realize how much you love him still or maybe in love with him.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 my credo is to always go with the heart.
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A
female
reader, Dr.Ski  +, writes (31 July 2010):
Can you answer me this: Why is your husband away?
1) If you have no love left for your husband, then there is no point in being together.
2) If you love the other man, and he fulfills all of your need's, then why stop it?
3) No matter what legal issues you may have too face, your in it together, so you can make it!
Out of everything i have stated, I would say leave your husband, and be with the one you love!
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