A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok so this is how it is. im lost between two men that i am deeply in love with. the first guy i met 4 years ago we dated and do to uncontrolable stuff we broke up and decided to stay friends, and until a couple days ago we were just friends who lived 2hrs away from each other and only hung out every 6 weeks. he's allways been there for me. Now on the other hand theres my fiance whom ive been with for 2 years now, when we meet i was in a dark place and a hard time for me i was homless and doing bad things. however the day i met my fiance i stop all my bad thing for him and his son, so he took me in under his wing as friends/ roomates at first then well of course it esculated to love. the past 2 years have been a great life for me however my fience has been acting weird towards me for a couple months know and like our hole relationship has changed for the worst and we just dont have that spark any more or the romance. i love him and his son dearly and dont want to hurt them but my fiance just isnt the same any more. there are pros and cons for both of these men they both have kids one has a kid with a horrible person that i just cant stand the drama, then the on ther one has a kid with a girl with the same name as me. i just dont know what to do any more. does any one have some advice on how to handle this.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 May 2010):
Have you addressed the changes with your fiance? That should be your first step, instead of just allowing the way things are to continue as such.
I'm thinking your confusion has nothing to do with these two guys. It stems from your low self esteem and trying to find means to increase or fill what's lacking in your life. The problem with this, just as doing your bad things you had, it's a cycle which tends to repeat. I'd recommend you seek counseling to get a strong grasp on what is going on, so you may put an end to destructive cycles, whether it be with men or with chemical substitutes.
You decision needs to be what's best for you and your life, and not one that is made for the wrong reasons.
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