A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is rather complicated and i am really stuck with it... Ive met a guy (boy 1) nd he is really sweet he asked me out and i said yes. But, there is another guy hu loves me(boy 2), i like him but not in that way and he tld me tht the only thing worth living for in his life is my love, so i culdnt find a way to tell him that i had a boyfriend so he ended up asking me out but i was afraid that if i said no he wuld do something stupid like try nd kill himself again so i said yes thinking that it can't be difficult the two guys will never meet as (boy 2) lives half way across the world and i'll probz never meet him so for a few weeks now ive been havin a normal boy girl relationship wiv (boy 1) and just being really sweet on msn to (boy 2) but then i found out that (boy 2) is moving to england and as far as people know (friends and family) i am only with (boy 1) so if another turns up someone is goin to say something and (boy 2) will be heartbroken. But if i dump (boy 2) im scared he'll kill himself, and if i stay with him he'll find out about (boy 1) and that's an even worse way to break his heart. i just don't no wat to do please help!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 October 2009):
You're aware that his friend is probably lying to you?
His friend is probably actually him trying to hurt you for hurting him.
Call his parents and see what the truth is. And if it does turn out to be lies, then tell them what he's been threatening.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust an update for any of you interested, im with neither of em now. i did break the news to boy 2 and a few weeks later his friend added me on msn to tell me he'd hung himself so yeah not great, but ive moved on and hoping that this is all in the past and wont jump back on me one day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice but i wish i hadn't done anything about this... ive broken his heart and he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, i feel as if ive been kicked in the stomach and stabbed in the heart but thts only half of what he is probably feeling. thanks anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Believe me, boy 2 won't kill himself... but he will be upset if he arrives in England and finds you with another guy. Don't be a coward, tell him BEFORE he crosses the world.
If you like him at all, you should let him know as soon as possible that you're not interested in him as a boyfriend, though you still hold him in high regard. You could try to explain that you aren't at all the person he's built you up to be, and that you don't have the energy, strength, or inclination to return his passion. He has to realize that there isn't a choice on your part, you simply don't have the right chemistry or personality to be with him, but you know that he will find the right girl for himself some day.
It probably won't sink in, but the longer you lead him on, the more you'll hurt him.
You can't avoid hurting him. Your only choice is: hurt him some now, or hurt him a lot more later? Do it now.
Then stop contacting him, because he can't get over you if you're still messaging him every day. It probably feels good to receive all this admiration, but it's selfish. Leave him alone and let him heal.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 June 2008):
Well don't dump boy 2. Just start dropping things into the conversation so he knows it is never going to happen.
Thinks like "You're such a nice guy. I don't know why you don't have a girlfriend. What do you think of Sally?" Only obviously change sally for a friend's name.
Offer to set him up with people etc etc etc. You can't change your life around him just because he's emotionally blackmailing you. If it comes down to it then you just have to tell this boy that you don't like him in that way and never will.
If you think he's a serious suicide risk then tell his parents to keep an eye on him.
Good Luck!! xx
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