A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,A = Boyfriend(about 7 years)B = ex (known each other for 12 years, dated 5 months in high school, on/off for the past 3 years. I wanted to break up with A because I realized that he's probably not the right one for me. In addition to the fact that I've thought of B and wanted to get back with him to the point where I couldn't be mentally with A any longer. So I finally broke up with A because I wanted to listen to my heart and go with my feelings. After talking to A, however, I hesitated so I held on to the thought of getting back with B because whenever I talk to A it gets really difficult to actually break up even though I've talked about it a few times. So once again, I hesitated but did mention that I called to break up, he took it literally and I haven't heard from him for about 2 months or so now. I've gotten back with B officially but miss A a lot and often would cry for the past months. I'm following my heart/feelings so why do I feel like it's unfinished business with A, like I need closure or something?1) Is A not calling me because he's giving it time because technically we never said GOODBYE...he did mentioned to a friend of mine that we're no longer together but he never said anything to me. He actually told me he was going to call me the next day after our long conversation but he never did and also haven't picked up my calls or return them. It feels so unfinished and it's bothering me. Is it because of A not being responsive that is getting me all wired up?2) I'm with B and want the relationship to work this second time around because obviously I've chosen B over A. Is it not okay that I've been thinking about A and wanting to talk to him so much because i haven't heard from him since we talked? I really care about him. Should I continue with B or get my talk with A over and done with (if he even calls me back so I would just have to wait until whenever) before being with B?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 February 2010):
1) - A already knows that's over and has moved on.
2) - It is not A's job to get in touch. You called the break, you#re now with someone else. Personally I think you're better just leaving it. Focus on your new relationship.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (26 February 2010):
 GrimmReality returns for but a moment to give it to you straight. This is not going to be what you want to hear, but its the truth, so listen up.
Mistake #1: stringing A along like that because you were probably just keeping him around in case it fell through with B.
Mistake # 2: Breaking up over the phone because you wanted to spare your own feelings instead of being honest. ...classy move. Really showed how much those 7 years meant to you huh? When you tell someone that you want to break up, that means you are breaking up.
After 7 years of being with him I cant think of more of an insult to someone you supposedly loved at one time that giving them the INDIGNITY of a telephone breakup. Jeeze I am surprised you didn't totally sell out and break up with him over Facebook. That seems to be all the rage these days.
And now you want to say GOODBYE? That ship sailed two months ago.
So now its been 2 months and you are worried about "unfinished business"? I think you might as well accept that it will probably be a cold day in hell if he ever speaks to you again.
See, after 7 years I think it would have been a little more mature of you to actually been the adult you claim to be(by your age on your post) by breaking up in person. This tends to lend the opinion that you are less than worthy of a's affections in the first place.
Oh well you are living the adage that says "Be careful what you wish for...."
Please do A a favor and leave him alone. I submit that when you broke his heart he took it as the end and felt that you didn't merit a phone call after your actions. Please just let A be to find love with someone who will not pull low drama stunts from a phone line.
He has moved on. I suggest you do the same
You made your choice. Now live with it.
...............................
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