A
female
age
30-35,
*uruhaha
writes:im a 19 yrs old housewife and my husband (29 yrs) says we are over. i met him in my country ( he is a soldier) and we only spent a 3days together becuase he was leaving soon. So he went back to America and we just talked on the phone from time to time. and my family sent me a holiday to the states by myself. and i contacted him so i got to spend a month together. after this holiday together we decided to marry each other so we did. and after we got married i discover that he was still talking to other girls from my country and i was so mad. He would compare to me to the girls and one of them was a prositute. so we got into fight (pshycially), and i called the cops on him.i was going to move to another city but he stopped me from leaving becuase he said for asian woman it would be easy for people to get them turing in to a prositute. so i stayed and we found the apartment to move in ( we were living in a baracks and his friends house before). and i been acusing him for cheating on me becuase he didnt come home for one night and the phone was off. and plus what he has done before ( talking to other girls while we were daing and married. and one was kynda engaged to him) so i been giving him a hardtime.and he doesnt act like he loves me no more. I been wondering if i was pregnant and told him and he says do what u gta do. and all the situations i wasnt from those typical poor asian family (im educated and obviously they sent me a holiday to the state) i loved him so much that i would give up my future ( college and career and other men are out there) and hes been saying i only married him becuase i want a green card ! and He is a G.I. If i wanted anything from him i would marry some wealthy guy you know..so now he is saying that he needs more time to think about and everytime we get in a good mood, he always reminds me "remember what i said about our relationship? its over".the facts are that im waiting for my greencard and it might take up to 3~4 month. and before that i can not get a SSN and drivers license and my family disown me now. (people are against to female that get married ealier, normally ealier than 25, and they are agianst to people who get married with forigners especially black in my country). So i pretty much have no option of going back.Im happy with him as long as he stays with me and as long as he loves me. but it doesnt seem like it. can i possbily fix it? or if i need to move on how do i move on?i thought i was everything he wanted. I m only 19 (super closed to virgin), got a nice look (size 6, and 5"10 ). and i speak in english as well not like other fresh asian woman.I'm just so deperessed.
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Honey, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. But, honestly, you deserve better than this man. You're an educated woman, you seem to have a bright future in store. Though you've been faithful, though you love him, he still is not being a good husband to you. what he said about you being pregnant is bad sign "do what you gotta do" are not words a loving husband and possible father should say. Not at all. But, if you really want to make it work, that is your choice. It sounds like he's still immature, still selfish, so it might take a LOT of time for him to change his ways. If he's being with prostitutes, please, PLEASE, make sure you always use protection-condoms-with him. Meanwhile, try to make up with your family, try to explain what happened...Remind this guy though, that you married for love, tell him in a gentle way, that you gave up a lot for him-just for him. Tell him how you gave up your family, your country, just because you were so in love with him. He might be feeling suspicious of the reason why you married, and that could be why he's acting so bad. I hope this helps, best of luck with you.
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