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Twisted relationship with cousin

Tagged as: Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have had and am having sexual relations with my cousin. He is my age. We are both 16. I have always kind of liked him but never said anything because he is my cousin obviously. So nobody ever knew. The summer before 8th grade he started feeling the same way. He would always be like you're so hot and so pretty when no one else was around.

He lives about 30 minutes away but we see eachother about twice a month at our grandparent's house which is about 1 1/2 hrs. away. It started when were 13 almost 14. One day he just randomly asked me would you ever have sex with your cousin? I was like no? I was taken aback and not sure it was a joke. As time went by though he would always be like you're so pretty, I can't help it. I felt flattered and it felt great to be wanted. I had gotten told i'm pretty all the time but not from my cousin and someone i had always liked and thought was cute

. From then on, every time we saw each other we did more and more. First it was a kiss. Then it was touching, then touching under clothes, then 3rd base, the fingering, then blowjob. This all happened within a span of about 2 1/2 years. And the last time I was there which was last weekend, We took a shower together and almost had sex. He almost put his dick in my pussy, it was pretty much almost in there. I pretty much freaked out. I used to feel the only reason I did these things with him was to gain more experience for when I am in a real relationship. But it had gone too far. Every time we do things which has been two and a half years, about twice a month, his sister, my cousin who is 14 now is always asleep in the same room and our grandparents are always in the house. We do it anyways. It really has gone too far. I told myself I wouldn't develop feelings for him but now I think about him all the time. It's not good. I can't marry my cousin. If my family found out I would be disowned and never able to see (him) again. I don't know what to do. I can't stop doing it. And now i'm having feelings for him...I feel like it is stopping me from having a life and a bf outside of him, because I can only think about him...what should I do??? The reason I am writing this on the internet is because I obviously can't talk to anyone else about it. My friends would be discusted. And I promise i'm really not weird I just need help and don't want to do my shitload of hw...And i really only think about him.

View related questions: blow-job, cousin, fingering, the internet, third base

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009):

As long as he wears a condom and nobody finds out it will be fine.... but eventually someone will find out, so be prepaired for major unhappiness in the future if you continue with the sexual side of this relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009):

I think they key issue here is to work out exactly what he means to you. This is going to be difficult, but if it's just a casual, sex-related 'fling' then it is not going to be worth the trouble you can ultimately find yourself in with family and friends.

Here in the UK, it is legal to have relations (over 16) with a cousin and to marry, though obviously you would need to consider your family history should you do so and then decide to have children. Family issues and opinions can still be conflicted even here, but it's certainly not unheard of, especially when you consider history.

I don't know the laws of your country, so I can't comment on them, but at some point you are going to have to make a decision here.

Whatever you decide, it's best to think carefully about this sooner rather than later. How much is this relationship worth to you? Only you can decide that.

Talk to him, too, and find out how he sees things. It may be better to wait until you're both in a better situation to make a practical decision.

One last note, make sure this isn't forced out into the open by a pregnancy. Always take precautions.

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A male reader, 2old4this United States +, writes (22 January 2009):

2old4this agony auntHe is is your moms brothers/sisters son or your dads brothers/ sisters son. First cousin, at least that I can tell. Yea, you GOTTA end this. This is an ocean of taboo trouble you dont want. I liked a girl when I was younger who turned out to be a distant cousin and not even blood related, (her mother was adopted in to my family), and it was looked badly upon. It just is too taboo. I would find someone else.

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A female reader, Ask JenniHearts  +, writes (22 January 2009):

Ask JenniHearts agony auntwell he's your cousin so you need to tell your self that constently. keep reminding yourself that and you'll get more descusted by it... tell him how you feel and maybe he;ll think the same way...

hope this helps

jenni hearts

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