A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I love watching women strip but dont wana touch a girl, i have no desire watsoever to touch a chick except 'to know' if im bi....but thats a stupid reason, if i really wanted a chick i'd 'want it' to 'want it' not to 'know' i also like watching men strip and gay men but they arent as sensual as women, but i wana marry a man and be with a man, i dont get this, wudnt u wana 'be' with a girl if u watch girl porn and find them so hot and get turned on by em? it makes no sense to me, but the thought of being with a girl just doesn't fit.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get to the bottom of your feelings. You seem very conflicted by your feelings. Thinking women have attractive bodies, yet not wanting to be with a woman, only wanting a man relationship-wise. I can understand you wondering if trying sex with a woman would feel good to you, or clear up your confusion. But it doesn't seem like you are comfortable with the idea at all, which makes me think you are pressuring yourself to work out why you feel the way you do.
Is it so important for you to work this out? Maybe there is no deeper reason for it, other than an appreciation for the female form. To be straight, and only want a man relationship-wise, yet get turned on by women's bodies...that is really normal, and more common than you might think. It is okay. It does not mean that you are gay, or that there is something wrong with your feelings. It is just what works for you, and it does not mean that you should force yourself to be with a woman to see what it is like if the idea makes you uncomfortable.
It sounds like this is troubling you and on your mind a lot. But maybe all you need to do is just accept yourself for who you are, and accept the things you like, whether you think they make sense or not. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Do what feels right for you, and if the idea of something makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni keep forcing myself to picture being with a woman, and i keep saying: what if i DO want it? what if i try it and like it? what if it doesn't feel right right now b/c im not 'used to' t he idea but if i get 'comfortable' maybe ill like it?/? but all these thoughts just bring me great anxiety and obsessive thoughts that i dont want to have. theres a woman i watch who has the most GORGEOUS breasts on the planet and i keep trying to see if i wud want to touch them in real life, and i keep saying 'maybe i do' maybe itll feel good if it looks good, but do i like this thought? no, absolutely not! y dont i like this thought? im not sure. Al iknow is that when it comes to the romantic mooshy stuff, i want that with a man b/c i can only see myself with a man, seeing myself with a woman is so weird, but maybe thats cuz i havent tried it....idk if i should try it or not, ppl are telling me that if ur obessing about this and its causing anxiety, if u try it itll only cause more anxiety and depression, b/c it will only confuse me more. I just think that if u get into something and feel comfortable in that state, then u'll feel ok with the next stage and next stage and thats how being lesbian for some girls is 'okay' b/c they hae gone to that comfortable stage. idk if this mkes sense, im rambling and obsessing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): I think what you are experiencing is very common, and definitely normal and nothing to worry about. Lots of women get turned on by watching women have sex or undress. And even if watching a man and woman having sex, some women only like to watch the woman, and not the man. But it doesn't mean you are bi or gay. It is perfectly fine if you are, but from what you have said in your question it sounds like you are straight, as you only want to be with a man.
I can understand you wondering why you get turned on by watching women though. It could be that you find women's bodies more visually appealing than men's bodies. Or it could be that when you watch a woman having sex, you can imagine what she is feeling, almost like you can experience it yourself. It is easier to relate to what someone of the same sex must be feeling than to what someone of the opposite sex is feeling. You said you also like watching men strip, but they are not as sensual as women. I would have to agree with you on that opinion, and it may be another reason why you find women so appealing to look at. Because they can be very sensual with their bodies.
I honestly think you are perfectly normal with what you are feeling. I would encourage you to try not to worry about it, and just enjoy the things which bring you pleasure. I hope something here helps. x
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female
reader, Marianne507  +, writes (26 May 2010):
You can appreciate the female body and not want to be with a female, and it sounds like that is the conflict that you are having. Also when watching female porn your body responds to what you are seeing. Your body produces sensations similar to what you are seeing on the screen and so while you might find it arousing, it has no real bearing on what you desire when it comes to men or women. If the thought of being with a female doesn't feel right to you than it probably isn't for you, that does not however mean that you can't appreciate the female body or any body that you see.
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