A
female
age
30-35,
*osygirls92
writes:I'm just really upset right now over this guy(how typical), say Ned. We met at the beginning of the year at the start of our course. I'm 19 and he's 21. We're both touchy feely people, so when we hugged alot, I never got to think twice and I basically treated him as a best friend for the first several months.We got along really well and had some good laughs, being in the same work group, we needed to do heaps of assignments together. Then afterwards, another guy, say, Ian slapped me in the face. While my friend stood there and watched on, not even asking if I was ok. I was extremely hurt and ashamed so I expressed my anger quite well. In the end, he made it up to me, but practically became friends with Ian, for some unknown reason. What I don't understand is why he would suddenly start hanging around these guys that probably thought of him as a regular friend, over a friend that helped him so much throughout the beginning of the course. Anyway, I had always known he had a gf, by the way he kept checking his phone. But I recently found out, from him, that this girlfriend is actually 29 years old, from Indonesia. I feel that she really isn't good for him. She's coming to live with him (without his parent's knowing) and she has so much more to gain from being in him (i.e. being in Australia, marrying a future dentist) then he has from her. I keep telling him the way I feel about all this but he won't listen! He thinks that I keep telling him it's such a bad idea because I'm trying to break them up because I have a secret crush and I want him. What annoys me is that I try and make sure all my friends are ok and can be very vocal about it. What hurts is that I know I have deep feelings for him, which I keep trying to shut away because he has a gf, and I could never try and steal a guy away.So I've decided that although we get along really well, and use to be close, to give distance between us and focus on exams. But after exams, should I try and meet up and spend some time with him (b4 his gf comes in July), just so he knows that I'll always be there for him? I know he doesn't treat me ideally as shown by the slap incident so is it even worth a try?If not, try and explain why. If so, why and how should I act? Deeply appreciate you guys reading this. xoxo
View related questions:
best friend, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13  +, writes (25 June 2011):
Sorry about the 2x post.
A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13 +, writes (25 June 2011):
I think I'd have to agree with *Ned on this one. Crushes can make us do irrational things. You admitted it yourself that you have feelings for him. That's probably why you don't approve of his girlfriend. You haven't met her so you can't say she isn't right for him. It's understandable that, as a friend, you want what's best for him. Who are you to tell him what IS and what ISN'T best though? At the end of the day though, this is his decision. I'm sorry to say this, I think you two should part ways. As you mentioned regarding the slap incident, he just stood there and did nothing. Then befriended the jerk who harmed you. If he was a good friend, he would have stuck up for you and would have considering being *Ian's friend. Hope this helps!
...............................
|
