A
female
age
36-40,
*abydoll0713
writes:My husband and I have been married one year on August 3, 2007. We decided after being married for a year we would try and have children. We are both 21 (I know we're young but we are ready) Anyways, no matter what we do we can't seem to get pregnant. I have been trying to get him to see a specialist to see if he is able to have children but I don't believe he wants to face it if he can't. I have been to a specialist and I am able to have a child. My question is how do I get him to go? I know he is ready to have a baby because he wakes me up sometimes just to talk about ideas he has for the babies room, names and anything else. We don't have money problems, we have a beautiful house and support from our families so we don't have alot of stress. I have read many places that there are different reasons for not being able to get pregnant but after reading them most of them don't fit with our problem. We don't smoke, do drugs and he rarely drinks. Does anyone know any secret tips or things they they believe helped them have a baby? I know it takes time and I am willing to wait as long as it takes because I love and cherish my husband and we want to have a family.
View related questions:
drugs, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (19 January 2008):
"Secret tips"? How about going to the Prom! Sometimes it seems that half the 16-year olds who go to the Prom come home pregnant.
OK, maybe that joke was not in good taste. There is a good discussion about becoming pregnant in the thread "Will I ever get another chance to be a mother?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-i-ever-get-another-chance-to-be.html] - probably the biggest "secret tip" among the comments there is "Stop trying so hard to get pregnant. The stress of that alone is a factor in why you haven't conceived.".
In your particular case I think there are two other factors. First, you have been trying for only a few months. In all honesty, it is a little early to become especially concerned. Until you've been trying for 6 months or so, I think most doctors will do a basic exam to rule out really serious problems then tell you to go home and make love. From 6 months to a year they will talk about identifying your fertile times, refer you to some articles about simple things that may encourage conception, and perhaps ask your husband to come in for a sperm check. (It's a rather embarrassing process for many guys, quite apart from the trauma that can follow a negative result.) Only after you have been trying for a year or more will most medical people get really concerned about your situation.
The second factor is in your second line - "I know we're young . . . ". Yes, you ARE young. (And, I should add, I'm rather impressed by your maturity.) That's not necessarily a bad time to start a family, and you may well be ready. In fact you're not as ready as you think - but that's how it is for everybody, whether they start a family at 21 or 41. Yes, you have about 20 years to conceive and start a family! Do you really need to be a grandmother before you're 40?
There are many things you can do as a young married couple that will be more difficult, or nearly impossible, after you have kids. I suspect your marriage will be stronger if you add a few other activities and goals to your objective of having a child. In all likelihood children will come and will be your primary focus for many years because I sense that you will be especially nurturing and loving parents. For now, live the life you have and take advantage of the opportunities it presents.
|
