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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:28 year old chap here who has lived life going no where for many years . I know what I should do but do not feel happiness is actually achievable for me .. yipee!! Anyway went to the docs at last and they suggested therapy or Anti Depressant's . My main issue is if I try to get myself back on track .I have a reminder that I have wasted the most fun years of my life and will of missed out on so much and so whats the point ... this is a repeating cycle for me and its crapI have read a million and one self help things and none of them work for me .Do Anti Ds work or is it just a drug that works as your taking it cheers Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 I have a son who takes anti depressants, they certainly work for him, they don't deaden his feelings or emotions, but simply help to "even things out" as he puts it.
If therapy is also available I would suggest both, (no therapy out bush where my son lives).
And I want to just point out, while the years up to 29 were kind of fun, the absolutely best for me were 40 to 46, hahaha, so you still have time to get to the best years of your life, so get cracking, take your medicine and see what life brings, your choices are either more of the same or do something different.
Good luck!
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (17 May 2016):
 I think it depends on how bad off you are right now. If you're just thinking that happiness is something others have and is unattainable, I would start with just talk therapy. If you think that life is not worth living, or the pain of unhappiness is overwhelming to the point of wanting to do something destructive about it, or if you don't trust yourself to RESTRAIN yourself from doing those things, I would consider antidepressants. I have good experiences with both. Feel free to PM or write a follow up to us.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 May 2016):
 Anti depressants worked for me. I had acute depression when I was 16. Before I took medicine it was non stop crying. Not just sobbing. It was uncontrollable, loud crying. I also slept a lot so I missed some classes. I took Zoloft for a year and got better. I stopped on my own. At that time nothing would work besides medicine. It was not therapy or medicine. It was just prescribed to me, as if I had a choice. I was worried there would be a relapse but never again. I had a bad break up at 31. Although the pain was bad and I lost weight and sleep, I didn't need any medicine and today I am happy. I know there are many doctors that prescribe drugs routinely without much thought, but if a professional suggests it, it means you are at that level and you should try it.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 May 2016):
 Can I also add that exercise can make a HUGE difference? I'm how you feel (mood), how you see yourself (self-worth) and how others see you (perception). Doesn't mean you should consider the therapy option. It is just a GOOD "add on" to life.
Like BrownWolf so eloquently said, NOTHING will change unless YOU make changes. Life as you want it, is simply not just going to show up at your door and invite you out.
You went to see your doctor because you KNOW you need to change, you are stuck in a rut. First move is to recognize that you need help... the next logical step is to SEEK that help and ACCEPT that help. Is it not?
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male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (17 May 2016):
Let me show you something...
"I know what I should do but do not feel happiness is actually achievable for me"
If you know what you should do... are you doing it? No one gets happiness by doing everything to make themselves unhappy.
Everyone is going somewhere. You may not be making the effort to go where you want to be. If you think what you want will come to you...WRONG!
Everyone has to go get what they want. Food, jobs, love, everything. The only thing in this world that comes to you is....DEATH.
LIFE has rules. Those rules are govern by two things only...RIGHT and WRONG. Do things the right way, and life is great. Do things wrong...Well, we all know what happens people who go down that road.
When you are doing the right things, happiness comes to find you, love, and good friends.
The wrong way leads to misery, depression, sadness, drugs, wrong kind of people in your life, and the list goes on.
Being happy takes work. Happy people fight for their happiness. It is not something you learn in school, in books, or comes in a pill. It takes real work to be happy. Getting up everyday and being thankful that you woke up. Being thankful you have eyes to the see the beauty of the world, the ability to smile, or walk. Many people who are in wheelchairs, suffering from cancer, starving, or some poor young girl/boy who is being forced to do something she/he does not want to...will gladly trade your place for theirs.
So never say your life is going nowhere. Make it go where you want it go. For there are those out there whose lives are being controlled by sickness and events around them. You are free to make a choice.
Question is...Right or Wrong??
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 May 2016):
I think it depends on the person. The thing with MANY medications (specially the mind altering ones) there is no guarantee that they will work as you hope they will. It's not a cure-all.
THAT is why they are often prescribed in link with therapy.
For someone like you who are so focused on things you absolutely CAN NOT change I'd say CBT might do the thick, because you are obsessing over what you think you missed out on and thus not living the life you have NOW.
CBT + antidepressants can work, no doubt. Meds alone? doubt it. They will just mask your feelings. YOU (as the patient) HAVE to be engaged to solving the problem. The root of the issue.
And you have already started that by talking to your doctor. So FOLLOW your doctors's advice? See where that takes you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2016): Therapy works if you find the right therapist and therapy style for you, it can take a lot of effort, but it's worth it. You need to have a list of goals, small ones, happiness is too vague to work as a goal, and work with your therapist to achieve them. I found that looking what I had achieved, what helped and what held me back every few weeks was really helpful.
Anti depressants work best when combined with therapy or another active attempt to better yourself.
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