A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:MY (fiance) of eight years told me she needed some space, and I found out after she had moved out that she met another guy and had sex with him after she moved out, after. Two times she spent the night with him. The reason she gave me was because I was so mean and he was very nice to her. Which I agree I was very mean and never showed her any attention, because I worked all the time. We were engaged and lived together, but I never wanted to set a date, I seemed to have pushed her away. She now wants to get back together and I see where I went wrong after multiple conversations. Should I take her back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): I don't think so. You were with this woman for 8 years, and when she sensed trouble she left you. Marriage is commitment anmd devotion, meaning you work things out and talk to one another.
Arguments, disagreements happen all the time. You can't expect perfection in a relationship, which isn't what marriage is about, it's about being supportive and loving of each other and being devoted to one another, and when there are hard times you work through it.
She left you beause you were mean. Maybe you did do something wrong even still that is no reason to leave you unless you did something major like cheating on her, or she found out you were a serial killer.
What if she feels you were 'mean' again? Is she going to go to someone 'nicer' everytime you make a mistake or don't understand? Or is it okay for what she did just because you weren't 'technically' married?
I'm sorry but I don't think she's mature or worthy enough for marriage or for a relationship for that matter. If those eight years meant something as important as it should have she wouldn't have gone and slept with someone. On top of that you have to go through in your mind that the woman you love willingly shared her body to someone while you were on a 'technical break'.
It's all inexcusable. I'd recommend you find someone better.
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