A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to share something that happened to me recently because I know it's something a lot of my friends wanted to hear about so I thought some of the girls out there would too! Okay, I've never been 100% comfortable with my body, less so since having a child. I always think I look ok with clothes on but when it comes to being naked I'm like, lights out or straight under the cover lol.So recently I started sleeping with someone new and I know confidence is a turn on so I've tried my best not to hide my body from him, but would still pull the covers over us. I didn't think he'd really noticed but we were lying in the bed the other day kissing and I pulled the cover up over me. He pulled the cover back and said to me 'why do you always hide your body? It's just so beautiful'He's told me this before (as have others) but this time when he was looking me straight in the eyes I could see the total sincerity in his face and he kissed me so sweetly after he said it that it really made me believe him! So girls, I think our men are seeing something we're not! With the constant media obsession with size zero and magazines full of fad diets that are supposed to make us look like kate moss in only 2 weeks we've become ultra critical of our bodies, more so than we've ever been. I guess what I'm saying is if your man tells you you're beautiful, you should believe it. Everyone has different ideas of what beauty is and we are ALL beautiful to someone. When we start believing that I think we'll all be a lot happier! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): this is sooo true im jsut going into my fourth year at high school :) and it took me 3 years to realise taht okay ive not got a brilliant body i used to look at the popular girls and think i wish i looked like her but then i thought who cares my boyfriend loves me for me i was exactley the same as this poster i used to cover up wen me n my boyfriend were fooling around (n above waist btw ) and he was like why do you that you know i think your sooo beautiful the most gorgeous girl in the world to me. and i never used to believe people wen they complimented me and said stuff about my figure ( i work in the pub) one guy said to me and i alwayas remember this coz it was a turning point for me he was abouit 20 pretty fit to be honest and i awas working and he kept buying me drinks and chatting me up for 4 hours well when i got off he said how old are you and i went 14 and he went f**kin hell i could be put in prison for what i was thinking about you ( i know that sounds slighly peadoish but it gave m confidence a boost) i though you were 18 or sumthin, how do male teachers react around you and im like ermm nuthin ( im not confident in skewl like i am at work ) he went you got a boyfriend so i said ye and he went hes one hell of a lucky guy to get you when your 18 give me a call :) and i knwo all that sounds slightly peadoish but it gave me a real confidence boost about my selfesteem ive always been curvy and i focused on the bad parts not the good parts about me and since ive got this confidence when im at work i always get guys trying to chat me up coz they think im 18 my boyfriend thinks its good coz they all think his girlfriends hot and im his :) sorry if this is long
A
male
reader, AW355484 +, writes (10 July 2009):
Confidence is very sexy, and Samantha x has got it in one! We look at the whole package. And honestly some of the stuff my girl comes out with that she doesn't like about her body is so hard to believe its untrue.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Thats the problem, people are to hard on them selves when it comes to there looks. Something that i dont think a lot of women realize is that all men like something differant. There is someone out there that will find you attractive, even when "society" dousnt. For example, I like women with some meat on there bones, i wont date skinny women. and i have a friend who likes women with glasses and freckles. You dont have to be "perfect" to be sexy, cute, and beautiful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSamantha x, thanks for replying and you are sooo right in what you say, that's exactly the point I wanted to get across, I really hope a few people can look at themselves differently from reading this article! :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I'm glad someone has said it!I think you're right that everybody is beautiful in some way to someone. We are led to believe that looking a certain way is preferable, that there is an "ideal" and "perfect" figure. But who says that? Are we really all supposed to look exactly the same?And I think men look at us in a different way to how we look at ourselves. From my experience, I think women are more critical, of our own bodies and others. Men aren't so much.Women pick their body apart into seperate pieces and analyse them in a negative way. We look in the mirror and see only our stomach that we hate. Or our hair which never does what we want it to do. Or our arms, which will never be "toned" enough. But I think most men look at the whole package. They see the whole body, not just bits and pieces of it. (Well, apart from some parts I suppose!)I can imagine a man getting dressed up, looking in the mirror, and thinking that overall he looks good. A woman, on the other hand, will get dressed up, look in the mirror, and think, "I can't go out like this, look at my legs!!!" She will see only that part she doesn't like.I am making big generalisations here, I know not all men and women will feel like this!So thankyou again for your article, I hope more people can take your words to heart and start to believe them. x
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