A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 18 months now but I am still having a lot of trust issues. My bf was previously married (and still is although they separated just before we got together). He has stayed really good friends with her and is in contact with her quite a bit as they shared dogs together and still do.I feel really uncomfortable with the relationship they have as I feel like she is constantly around and that he is still always doing anything for her, yet won't always do things I ask.In the past he used to pretty much keep her yet for me he is entirely different, don't get me wrong I don't want to be a kept woman but the difference between how he treated her and how he treats me is quite vast.He tries to reassure me and tell me that their meetings are innocent and that they don't want to be together but I can't help but feel that there is something there. When he goes to see her he doesn't want to take me with him as he says I will react and just cause an argument (she has been the subject of much contention).There is still some of her stuff lying around despite me asking him to either give it back or get rid of it and still it is here, which really bugs me. I don't understand why if he loves me as he says he does, why does he need to keep her so close? Am I being paranoid? He say's I'm crazy with the things I think but most my friends tend to agree that something doesn't sound right.Does anyone have experience in this? Is it normal to want to be so close to your ex wife?
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (6 March 2011):
You have the right to be annoyed by his behaviour. You are his girlfriend now so he should show more respect to you. Starting by not having her stuff all around.
But I guess the fact that he keeps hanging out with her is the real problem here. As he appears to be into her yet. Maybe he hasn't move on yet. And that can be really harmful to you.
In my own personal opinion wanting to be too close with an ex partner isn't a good sign.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): My boyfriend kept his ex-wife(not divorced) as a good friend. Such a good friend she left him holding the kids, moved country and has had two boyfriends but yet in all the three years we have been together, and a son later, she gets dumped by her last boyfriend and guess what . . . . she's back to live with him, cos she wants to be near her kids. He wont have a word said against her and even tho i said its over with us and he wont see his son again if she moves in, he's still letting her back to live with them. My advice - cut you loses and get out of it, she will call the shots forever and a day.
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