A
female
age
30-35,
*lameOfConfusion
writes:We've been dating for five months, and our communication has become pretty sparse. For the past week or so, it's become so that if I don't initiate the conversation, we just don't communicate at all for days. And he's always online on his Playstation 3, and I see him playing stuff sometimes (it shows it on his online status), which is what we normally talk on.When I wouldn’t initiate conversation sometimes (so not to be clingy), he would always make the effort to contact me soon after. It's been three days and he hasn't said a word. It's just unusual. Normally when we don't talk for that long it's because he has someone staying over, or that I can't be around because of school work. But he's there. =|He told me his Mom recently had an operation, and that she's doing well. When it happened I told him that I'm there for him if he needs me. I also asked if he wants space, to which he said no. He also told me that if something is bothering him, he would definitely tell me. We're both close and have helped each other through a lot since we became friends. He tells me most things, and is a generally quiet person. I make sure to show him my care and love and am always supportive and considerate of him and his feelings. He told me I am the most fun person to talk to at any given day, and I really enjoy talking to him.The last time we talked, everything seemed fine and normal, and we were cracking jokes and having fun. But I had to initiate that because he was a little distant before that, too (he ignored my message so I gave him a few days).I just don't understand the silence lately, despite the things he's told me. It hurts because I'm in love with this person and I miss him. And he says he loves me sometimes. But the sudden change in his behaviour is making me feel neglected. I know that if I was to greet him he would reply to me. But he doesn't seem to contact me himself recently. It’s sort of like he's gotten too comfortable? I don't make myself constantly available, though. I've had lots of interviews lately and school work, but have still made time for him nonetheless, if not that day within the next few. I never left him hanging. I never cut him off or push him around. Maybe he needs more space? I'm thinking either he's lost interest and doesn't care about me anymore, that he's gone into his cave because of Mum (even though he's been acting cheery), or there's something else he's not telling me. What do you guys think? If he's always available, says nothing's bothering him, and that he enjoys talking to me, but still doesn't contact me despite me giving him space, I just can't think of anything else.. he told me once that he gets really distracted by things but for that long? Surely giving 5 seconds out of 72 hours of his time to say hello couldn't be that hard. =SI'm going to give him two more days, but if he doesn't deliver, I think I'll confront him and tell him how I feel. I just don't know how.. if someone could give me some sentences I could use and ways to approach him, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for reading. =)~ Flame Reply to this Question
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Dear FlameYou sound like a very mature and resonable person, especially for such a young girl, so no I don't believe you are asking for too much from your boyfriend. You seem to be doing everything right asking all the right questions, giving him space etc... You say you usually talk online, is that the extent of the relationship or do you actually live near each other and go out on real dates? If not than maybe you should let him go for a while without contacting him and see what happens. Either way you need to be aware that relationships don't usually last forever at your age. You are still growing and changing as a person and so is he. People make a lot of mistakes at your age, that is how we learn to do better the next time love comes along in our lives. So prepare yourself for that and be careful who you give your heart to. The worst thing you can do at your age is to live just for some boy, you need friends, family time, and as many positive activies as possible to keep you balanced, happy and healthy in mind and sole. That way, boyfriends can come and boyfriends can go but you'll still be okay with yourself and who you are a person. There is also an excellant article on this website called "what men look for in a woman" that may be of interest to you. I recommend that you check it out.The last thing I can tell you is that a good (mature) boyfriend shouldn't be losing interest or ignoring you after only 5 mths. So no matter what his problem is I would demand he shape up or get lost. We teach people how to treat us in this life and not one girl has ever hung onto a guy for very long by letting him treat her like a doormat.The guy will think if she doesn't respect herself anymore than that, then why should I?
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