A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When I met my boyfriend I told him that a couple of years ago I got involved with a married man, but that I saw my error and nothing come of it. Today when I got home my boyfriend sent his daughter out and said that we needed to talk in private. He threw my phone at me yelling out that i was a liar and that he wanted me to leave, and that his daughter and him would be alright, just the two of them and that there would be no place for me in their life. I asked, whats happened and he said that thing you got involved with has been sending you pictures of himself naked. He said that i had lied to him when i said that i had taking his details out from my phone and i said that i had wiped his details out from my phone before we met.He yelled, ''how is it his name came up on the text?'' Again i said that i had wiped the details out of the phone and said, its not my fault that he has sent these pictures of him, as i have not asked him to do this. I said that i have not heard from him for 2 years, and now my boyfriend wont even look at me and wonder if i should just leave, as since this happened i have realised that he does not trust me, and think that he forgets about this this now, and then brings it up again somewhen else. i was due to go shopping with his daughter but she went on her own without telling me and i beleive that he has told her what has happened and feel at the moment that they both want me to go. My problem is that i have nowhere to go to and they both know this. i thought that he loved me as he had often told me this but am not sure now as I have told him the truth. He can be difficult, overbearing. He said that he stands no nonsence and that includes me.He said that i need to do something to prove to him that i am not telling him lies.He said until i can do this he is sleeping in the spare bed room and then said to me you know what that means dont you and laughed at me.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 March 2015):
 Why is this married man sending you texts with naked pictures on them?? Did your boyfriend find something that was a holdover from when you were involved with the MM, or did the MM send them after you got with your current BF??
If this MM was sending unwanted pictures during your time with your current BF, you should have told the BF straight up that you were being harassed. Being honest is the bedrock of a relationship.
If your boyfriend was snooping and found something from the past, all the same...what trust is there?? Fair or unfair, getting involved with a married person undermines trust. So does snooping.
I'd say your relationship with the other guy has run its course.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): If you have an iPhone or HTC, it saves contacts in the history similar to text predictor in Outlook unless you clear the "recently used contacts" list. I noticed it when I'd deleted an old number from my contacts but when typing the name into to "To" field, it remembered the number so this is possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): What do you mean how do we contact him to tell him to stop? If you received another text with this guys name on it you simply text him back. I don't know about your phone but when I get a text from somebody it's really very easy to reply, or to phone that person or even find out the number behind the name. What kind of phone do you have?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): We sat down to talk about it and said did he want to speak to him to believe that I am not telling lies and he looked at my phone where he found no details in there for him and then received another text with his name on and he says that he loves me but without his number how do we contact him to tell him to stop sending these texts to me.
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A
female
reader, CattyCat +, writes (7 March 2015):
 Have you given your boyfriend a reason to look on your phone? Usually a person doesn't feel threatened like that in a relationship unless they have been provoked, either by insecurities or their other half.For example, the daughter's mother isn't around, so he may have some insecurities from there that he can't help but have, and if you love him, you should take that on board as he does with all your baggage. Second example, what did you do to make him feel so insecure that he had the compulsion to check your phone? If he trusted you completely, as do you him, then it just wouldn't happen.Plus the fact, he's not only letting you into his life, but his daughters too. Whatever hurt you inflict, will be on both of their lives, not just his. So maybe you need to think about what it is you want, because with him, it's a serious relationship or nothing, so if you just wanted a place to stay and good company, maybe you should check into a hostel. If the guys name came up, then you never deleted the contact. What he wants is for you to be truthful and to be there. He wants security and peace of mind that the girl he's investing his feelings in, isn't wasting his time by doing pathetic immature things like getting involved with a married man and getting nudes from said man when she's suppose to be part of family. If at this point you're thinking negatively, like "I didn't ask for this" "I just need my space" or "it's getting serious too quickly" then you need to sit down and talk through the argument and your relationship. Come to a decision of what to do to get things on the mend and fix whats broken. Take things slower. OR leave.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 March 2015):
 Why was your BF going through your phone? I find that pretty unreasonable. You have YOUR right to privacy.
But here is the thing, your BF is done. You have one option, to move out.
So find a room-mate situation you can afford and move. There really isn't any point in being with a guy who doesn't want you there.
Maybe after you have moved out you should consider getting a new phone number.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): I agree with female anon. His name popped up because you still have him on your contacts list on your phone. If you deleted him, just his number would appear, not his name. So you never deleted him from your phone. Why? Also, your BF should not be snooping on your phone. He does not trust you.
I also find it odd that out of nowhere and a couple of years later your ex married BF sent you naked pictures? Just out of nowhere? After that long a time? Without any contact or encouragement from you? Seems strange. Usually most people have moved on since then. Most men would have moved on to another mistress so not sure why he is courting you again? There has to be something piquing his interest again. Have you been in touch with him before he sent you the pictures? Did you run into him somewhere and now he is trying to start something again? Because even if he did want to contact you again, he would have sent a message to feel you out. Not go full blown to naked pictures. Seems like the naked pictures show things have escalated between the two of you.
Your BF does not like that you were with a married guy. Most men would not consider this a good quality in a GF. I a not judging as I have been there. My married BF also sent me naked pics, all that stuff. But it was while we were together. I can't see him sending me pics 2 years after we were history. But your BF does not trust you. Because women who get involved with MM have no boundaries. We usually march to our own drummers. Who seek to gratify our own needs. We like the ego boost. We like the excitement. We have no regard for the wife or the consequences. So if you are of similar character to me, I can see you perhaps taking up with him again because the excitement and illicit nature of an affair will always come before a boring, comfortable relationship with a boyfriend. Perhaps you are missing that spark with your BF and this married man has come back into the picture and has lit your fire again. And you might have encouraged him and are wanting to play again while keeping your safe, comfortable BF as a security blanket. But you did not think you would get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and now it's into damage control mode...
Am I right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): Well, a lot seems to hinge on the fact that his name came up on your 'phone. The only thing to do is to contact your 'phone supplier and get them to verify whether or not the 'phone would still store contact names if you deleted the contact.
But it seems rather odd.
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A
female
reader, LJCX +, writes (7 March 2015):
 How would you react if your boyfriend had naked pictures of his ex on his phone? I think the way he's reacted is pretty much normal, I'd be worried if he just didn't care. Nope his name shouldn't be on there if it's been deleted and why didn't you just delete the photo as soon as he sent it. If you are telling the truth you should be mad at your ex and give him a mouthful for sending things like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): So why don't you do something to prove him you are not lying and lay this matter to rest? If you are innocent getting some evidence of that should be easy ... Like put your ex on the phone and since he is married he should squeak the truth to your new guy quickly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): I'm also wondering why his name would come up in the text if you deleted him from your phone. It should have been a number popped up, not his name. That's why he isn't believing your story. I find this strange as well that you haven't had contact with your ex in 2 years and he's all of a sudden sending you naked pictures. Something's missing here..
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