A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I really need help, I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know why I feel this way or what's made me feel this way. But I really really dislike my mum, we have had so many ups and downs, we've been through everything together as a team when I was very young.. But now as I've grown up we have gone our separate ways, I can't stand her voice, her face or even when she's eating. I just want to slap her. I know it's awful but I don't know why I'm feeling this way. As a young child I had witnessed her and my father fighting all the time, physical and verbal. My family are dysfunctional anyways. She hates her mum because she abused her as a young child. I don't think my mum has ever abused me.. She would hit me as a young child when I stepped of line.. But that was just scolding me for my bad actions. Which I understand that now.. I don't know why I feel this way. Everytime I'm at work or out with my friends I don't want to come home to see her, I prefer being away from her. She makes me SO mad all the time, she never does anything around the house (which is due to the fact she has a disease, which makes me feel worse saying she does nothing-because she physically can't) I'm not sure where this feeling has come from.. She's always questioning me, where I am, who I'm with, analysing every little word I say to see if I lie, has ended my relationship with an ex, because she didn't like him. I was madly in love with him.. I need help.. What's caused these feelings and how can I resolve them? Thanks :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): I think this is actually fairly understandable as by the sounds of it I used to have similar feelings when I was your age (according to the top line).
As you're getting older you probably want your independence and resent the fact that you have to live with someone, without being able to choose it. Plus living with anyone under one roof for too long can sometimes cause this kind of feeling. I guess it's what they say, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.
Part of this is that you just have to be patient, it's only a matter of time before you go to uni/get a full time job then you don't have to spend so much time around her.
In the mean time, try and think about what you say/do before you do it, be civil and mature, to avoid conflicts as they will only make any unpleasant feeling towards her worse. If there's something that really pisses you off, honestly biting your tongue is the better thing to do. If there's something particularly bothering you you can sit down quietly at an appropriate moment and discuss it. Sometimes repairing relationships takes a conscious effort, it won't magically change if everyone carries on the same, doing nothing to change.
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