A
male
age
36-40,
*81
writes:Well, i just got married 5 months ago with the one i'm in love with but i started having a problem when i think of her ex-boyfriends with whom she had sex before we knew each other. Before our marriage she told me everything about her past; who she slept with and who took her virginity. Maybe becoz of my EGO i cant forget all her doings and it pisses me off when i recall. I'm not happy with my married life at this moment becoz of all this. Please help. what should i do to overcome this feeling?
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her ex, her past, sexual past Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (20 April 2010):
It's in the past, you weren't there. If you decided to marry someone else, the next person would have a sexual past too. I'm sure you weren't "pure" either when you got married just 5-months ago. Don't be upset at her over something that you're no better than.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 When you married her, you were aware of her past and you accepted it. You loved her no matter what.
What is important is now and not the past. She chose to be with you and you should feel lucky indeed .No one is perfect and she committed some mistakes in her life. You should forgive her and move on.
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A
female
reader, smij  +, writes (20 April 2010):
be happy and proud that she told you the facts. she did it.she will be a good wife. she will be faithful to you.it may take time for you to adjust to the situation. but you should understand one thing you got a GEM. if you let your ego to rule you completely, you will never enjoy your life.instead if you understand and enjoy what she did in her past.all the best.....
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 April 2010):
 You love her? You've been married for 5 months? How about treating the day you got married as the first day of the rest of your lives, with the woman you love, without anything coming before the date you said, "I do."
Not being happy in your married life? How much fun can that be. You have a choice. 1. Love your wife with all your heart, and enjoy each other in marriage. 2. Keep dwelling on the past, as if it'd make a difference today, and loose your joy and happiness with your new bride.
She is not her past, as you are not your past. You are both individuals, and married to each other despite experience before marriage. I urge you to stop focusing on before that special day, and begin focusing 100% on the love you have for your wife. You do that and your marriage will be one you treasure from this day forward. (ever wonder why those words are included in vows)
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 As hard as it may be, try to stop obscessing over her past relationships. Try to shift your focus from her past to her present and future together with you! Obviously she is a lovely, attractive, likable woman, as you've married her, so she is bound to have had other suitors in the past. Try to remember that none of those guys were good enough for her or she would still be with them. You are the one she agreed to marry! You are the one who deserves her and won her hand! Those other guys were just people she had fun with while she was growing into a woman, before she met the love of her life, you!
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A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (20 April 2010):
 have you been virgin till mariage?There should be no worries she loves you and she married you and she got the best sex with you.Don't worry about it
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